Self-discovery

“Nothing criminal, Arkady Arkadievich — may I?” Krivoshein sank into the leather armchair by the desk. “The self — organizing computer, about which I spoke at the scientific council last summer, actually did develop… and it developed to the point that it tried to create a person. Me. And, as they say, the first pancake is a lump.”

“Why wasn't I kept informed?” Azarov asked angrily, remembering the humiliating conversation the day before yesterday with the investigator and the other experiences of the last two days. “Why?” Krivoshein flew into a rage.

“Damn it!” He leaped forward, banging his fist on the soft arm of the chair. “Why don't you ask how we did it? How we managed to do it? Why are you more concerned with personal prestige, subordination, the relationship of others to your directorial ego?”

Krivoshein's announcement had reached Azarov in its most general form: he had gotten some result. Heads of departments and labs were always telling Azarov about their results, sitting in that very leather chair. And it was only as a delayed reaction that Arkady Arkadievich began to realize just what kind of a result it was. The world shuddered and became unreal for a moment. “Impossible! No, that's just the point, it is possible! Now everything falls into place and I see.” The academician spoke in a different tone. “Of course, this is… monumental. My congratulations, Valentin Vasilyevich. And… my apologies. I jumped the gun; it didn't come out right. A thousand pardons! This is a major. invention, even though the idea of communicating and synthesizing the information in man has been expressed by the late Norbert Weiner. [Krivoshein chuckled.] Of course this doesn't diminish… I remember your idea, and the day before yesterday I saw a few… results of your work. Since I am quite well versed in systemology myself [Krivoshein chuckled again], I, naturally, am prepared to accept what you've told me. Naturally, I congratulate you from the bottom of my heart! But you must admit, Valentin Vasilyevich, that this happy event for science could have been less worrisome and even less scandalous if you had kept me informed of your progress over the past year.”

“It's hard to get in to see you, Arkady Arkadievich.”

“You'll understand if I don't find that a substantial excuse, Valentin Vasilyevich!” Azarov frowned. “I'll admit that the procedure of getting in to see me might be offensive to you (even though all the workers at the institute have to submit to it at one time or another). But you could have telephoned me, left me a note (not necessarily a form in triplicate, either), or visited me at my apartment, you know!”

Arkady Arkadievich couldn't repress the hurt. “So… you work and work…” kept spinning through his mind. For a long time, since the days when his unsuccessful experiment with helium turned into the discovery of superfluidity in the hands of a colleague, Arkady Arkadievich had secretly hoped to see, find, and understand something new in nature and the world. He dreamed about a discovery with anticipation and trepidation, like a boy about to lose his virginity! But he had no luck. Others did, but not him! He had high — level, needed, much — valued and honored work to his credit, but no discovery — the height of comprehension.

And now in the institute that had been entrusted to him a discovery had been made without his knowledge, a discovery so huge that it dwarfed all of his work and the work of the entire institute! They managed without him. More than that! It seemed that they avoided him. “How so? Did he think I was dishonorable? What have I done to make him think that?” Academician Azarov hadn't had to experience such strong feelings in a long time.

“Hmmm. while sharing your joy for this discovery, Valentin Vasilyevich,” he went on, “I still am worried and saddened by your attitude. This may shock you, but I'm concerned not as a scientist or as your director, but as a human being: why like this? Surely you could see that my knowing about the project would do it no harm, but could only help: you would have been guaranteed direction, consultations.

If I had felt that you needed more workers or equipment, you would have had that, too. Then why, Valentin Vasilyevich? I'm not even deigning to think that you were worried about your inventor's patents….”