Self-discovery

“Well, it's a little early to be worrying about that. The method hasn't been researched. What kind of production could there be? Who knows, maybe you'll disintegrate in a few months.” “I won't. Don't count on it.” “What's it to me? Live for all I care.”

“Thanks! You are such a boor! Just unbelievable! Would I like to give you a good punch!”

“All right, all right, don't get off the subject. You misunderstood me. I meant that we still don't know all the aspects and possibilities of the discovery. We're at the very beginning. If we compare it to radio, say, then we're at the level of Hertz's waves and Popov's spark transmitter. What now? We must research the possibilities.”

“Right. But that doesn't change things. Any research that is applied to man and human society must have a definite goal. And there's nobody around to give us a two — page, typewritten list setting a technological task. But we don't need it. We must determine for ourselves what goals man now faces.”

“Well… before, the goals were simple: survival and propagation of the species. In order to achieve them you had to worry about wildlife, skins for cover, and fire. beating off animals and acquaintances with a cudgel, digging in the clay to make a cave without any conveniences, and so on. But modern society has solved these problems. Get a job somewhere and you'll have the minimum you need for living. You won't perish. And you can have children; if worst comes to worst, the government will even take on the responsibility of bringing them up for you. So now, it follows that people should have new desires and needs.”

“More than you can count! Comfort, recreation, interesting and not boring work. Refined society, various symbols of vanity — titles, awards, medals. The need for excellent clothing, delicious food, embroidery, a suntan, news, books, humor, ornamentation, fads….” “But none of that is important, damn it! That can't be important. People can't, and don't want to return to their previous primitive existence; they squeeze everything from modern life that they can — it's only natural. But there has to be some goal behind their desires and needs, no? A new goal of existence.”

“In brief, what is the meaning of life? Rather a complicated problem, wouldn't you say? So, I knew we would end up here!” My double got up, moved to get the kinks out of his body, and sat down again. So — starting out with jokes and getting more and more serious — we discussed the most important aspects of our work. I've often gotten around to discussing the meaning of life — over cognac or on a coffee break — as well as social structure, and the destiny of mankind. Engineers and scientists like to gab about worlds the way housewives do about high prices and lack of morality. Housewives do it to prove their diligence and goodness, and the researchers do it to demonstrate the breadth and scope of their vision to their friends. But this conversation was much more difficult than the usual engineering bull: we overturned ideas as if they were snowdrifts. It was distinguished by responsibility: after this conversation deeds and actions would follow the words — deeds and actions that allowed no room for mistakes.

We weren't sleepy any more.

“All right. Let's assume that the meaning of life is to satisfy needs. No matter what kind. But what desires and needs of mankind can we satisfy by creating new people? The artificially created people will have their own needs and desires! It's a vicious circle.”

“No, no. The meaning of life is to live. Live a full life, freely, interestingly, creatively. Or at least to aim for that… and then?”

“Fully! Meaning of life! Aiming!” My double jumped up and started pacing the room. “Interests, desires, mammy, what abstractions! Two centuries ago these approximate concepts would have sufficed, but today…. What the hell can we do if there are no exact data on man? What vectors are used to describe striving? What units measure interests?”

(We were discouraged by that then — and we're discouraged by that now. We were used to exact, precise concepts: parameters, clearances, volume of information in bits, action in microseconds — and we came face to face with the terrifying vagueness of knowledge about man. It's good enough for a conversation. But please, do tell me how can you use them in applied research, where a simple and harsh law reigns: if you know something imprecisely, that means you don't know it.)

“Hmmmmmm… I envy the men who invented the atom bomb.” My double got up and leaned in the balcony doorway.” 'This device, gentlemen, can destroy a hundred thousand people' — and it was perfectly clear to them that Oak Ridge had to be built… And our device can create people, gentlemen!”