Self-discovery

“I existed before I appeared in the computer,” my first double said to me. “I was you.”

And he was unhappy with his situation. But we'll learn all the joys of communal living with this one: arguments over Lena, worries that we'll be caught, the problems of the bed versus the cot…. And most important: this is not what I had expected from the new experiment. The experiment is a success. The computer is re — creating me. But I have to move beyond that.

And if I dissolve him with the command “No!” — isn't that death? But, forgive me, whose death is it? Mine? No, I'm still alive. The double's in the vat? But he doesn't exist yet.

Is this all subject to the rule of law — my experiments? And on the other hand, is this abuse of my work? My double was right: there is really strange work.

And it all stems, I guess, from faintheartedness. In our modern world people in the name of ideals and political goals go forth and send others to kill and die. There are ideas and goals that justify it. And I have a great idea and a great goal: to create a method that improves man and human society. I won't spare myself, if need be. Then why am I afraid to give the command “No!” for the sake of my work? I have to be firmer, if I'm undertaking this work.

Especially since this isn't death. Death is the disappearance of information about a man, but the information is not lost in the computer — womb; it merely changes form, from electrical impulses and potentials to man. And I can always give them another double if they want….

I pondered until the hoses leaving the tank began contracting rhythmically, emptying out the excess liquid. Then I put on the Crown and gave the command.

It's not a pleasant sight: there was a man — and he dissolved. I still feel bad…. All right, pal, don't rush. I'll make you fine and dandy. Of course, I can't give you more brains than what I've got myself, but at least I'll give you looks that will make you reel. After all, you have lots of flaws, as I do: slightly bowed legs, hips too wide and fat, rounded shoulders, a stumpy torso, masses of excess hair on the legs, chest, and back. And protruding ears, and a jaw that makes me look like a complete dolt. And my forehead, and my nose. no, let's be self — critical. It just won't do!

August 6. Experiment number 2 — things get harder by the hour! Today I decided to improve on the looks of a new double and got so messed up that I don't even want to think about it.

I began knowing exactly what was “not it” in my looks. (Actually, it's all “not it,” if it can be changed.) But what was “it?” In my experiments with the rabbits the criterion for “it” was whatever I felt like. But a man is no rabbit; even though they say one head is good, and two are better, no one ever thought that in a biological sense.

After my command of “You may!” the image of the new double appeared and the semitransparent lilac muscles of the stomach had started disappearing under a layer of yellow fat, I gave the signal “That's not it!” The computer, obeying my imagination, dissolved the fat tissue where I saw it: on the stomach and near the neck, leaving it on the back and sides.

I hadn't noticed that right away, because I was working on the face. Mentally I gave the double a noble brow, but when I looked at the profile, I was aghast: the skull had been flattened! And the shape of the brow contradicted the rest of the face.

In a word, I was lost. The computer took that for a total “not it” and dissolved the double.

I was at dead — end. “It was obviously the beauty of the human body. There are classical examples of it. But… turning my double into a pleasant — looking man with classic features in the course of two hours of synthesis was something that was beyond the powers of not only me, but of the most qualified member of the Artists' Union of the USSR! My only hope was that the computer was remembering all the changes made on the double.

Then I gave the order “You may!” once more. Yes, the computer — womb remembered everything: the double retained all my clumsy changes. That was better, I could work as many sessions as was necessary.

In that session I got rid of the excess fat from the double's body. His pot belly disappeared. You could even see his waist. And his neck took on definite outline. That was enough for a start. “No!” Everything disappeared and I ran over to the city library.

I'm leafing through Professor G. Gicescusy Atlas of Plastic Anatomy (I also have four richly illustrated books on Renaissance art), learning about the proportions of the human body, picking out the double's looks like a suit off the rack. The canons of Leonardo da Vinci, of Durer, the proportions of Schmidt — Friech…. It seems that in a proportionate man the buttocks are exactly at mid — height. Who would have thought!

God, what a poor engineer had to learn!

I'm taking Hercules as my basis since he is shown from all angles.