Side Effects May Vary

We watched from the booth. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect. The lights were dimmed so no one saw him, and we could only make out the outline of him, but Luke hauled ass out of the locker room and ran for the ladder to the projector, which ran up the back of the bleachers opposite us. To Alice’s absolute delight, he wore nothing but a towel. She bounced up and down and clapped her hands, giggling.

When the lights came on he would be positioned above the bleachers where everyone could see him. Luke continued to climb, checking the towel at his waist every few seconds. I craned my neck to watch him.

Alice spun the disc around her finger.

I couldn’t take it. “Al, you don’t have to do this. He’s already about to humiliate himself. And isn’t that what you want anyway?”

Doubt flickered across her pale face, but was erased by a thunder of obligatory applause from the students and faculty.

The large overhead fluorescent lights began to buzz to life, taking a few minutes to turn on.

Luke’s entire body tensed as he took the next rung.

For a second, no one noticed anything as all of their eyes adjusted to the light and the officer who would speak for a few minutes took the stage.

The ladder creaked as Luke froze.

In unison, everyone turned, looking up to see him. The laughter was instantaneous.

I stood and took Alice’s hand, hoping my touch impacted her in a fraction of the way hers did me. “Come on.”

Luke yelled unintelligible curses as he took a few more steps in earnest. When he was within reach, he stretched for the power cord, his other arm curled around the ladder. It was hard to tell exactly what it was through the glass, but his towel caught on something. Maybe a loose nail or a sliver of wood. Just out of grasp, Luke leaned forward a little farther and his towel began to slip. He wasn’t fast enough to catch it. We all watched as the white piece of fabric drifted slowly down to the bleachers below, leaving him in nothing but his skin.

I could imagine the rush of hands to pockets as students searched for cell phones to memorialize this moment. My cheeks burned. I’d always hated watching others be humiliated, even if they deserved it.

One of the police officers helping with the presentation started yelling up the ladder for Luke to come down.

Alice watched the computer, the disc hovering in her hands.

“Al, come on.” My voice was desperate.

Shutting the tray with a push of her finger, she said, “Let’s go.” She led me to an empty classroom where she took out her cell phone and called Luke again.

I leaned against the teacher’s desk, waiting for our next move.

When it went to voice mail, she waited for the beep. “Whoops. False alarm. Sorry about the embarrassing towel incident. That was so not part of my plan, but kudos! Now, just so we’re on the same page, if you ever even think about seeking out retaliation against Tyson or anyone you think might be related to this little episode, this picture will go public. Whether I’m dead or alive.” She took a second to let that sink in for him. “And, Luke,” she said, “if girls aren’t your thing and you realize you’re lying to everyone including yourself and you decide to be honest, just remember I saved that moment for you. I kept your secret, which isn’t something I can say you did for me.” She hung up the phone.

I tried to process what her words. Secret. “Alice,” I said, “what secret are you talking about?”

She looked down at her feet. “Nothing. It’s not important.”

I watched her, waiting for her to talk.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said.

I nodded. I could wait. “The picture,” I said. “I’m proud of you.”

“Everyone was distracted. It would have been a waste. And at least now I’ve got some leverage on him.”

I covered her hand with mine and she didn’t pull away. “Let’s skip and hang out at my place.” Alice yawned. “I’m tired and my head hurts.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

We walked to my car, and I didn’t let go of her hand once.

The next day, I walked to gym with Dennis as he told me what had happened after Alice and I left.

“He got suspended for a week, ya know?” said Dennis. “Apparently, the police sent him to the lockers to get changed and he punched one of the mirrors above the sinks, so Principal Kirby said he’d have to sit out the first three baseball games this spring too.”

“Wow,” I breathed. “How did you find all this out?”

“Debora was in the office when the whole thing went down. She said Luke’s hand was wrapped in gauze.” Dennis stopped in the middle of the hallways, letting everyone else on their way to class pass us. “I don’t know what he did to Alice, but remind me never to get on her bad side.”

Before gym class, I stopped in front of the only sink missing a mirror. Small shards of glass that the janitors had neglected still glistened against the white porcelain. I turned on the water and guided the last bits of glass down the drain with my thumb, wondering what hell I’d gotten myself into.

Alice. Now.