Side Effects May Vary

So, Allie Cat, what does your weekend look like?” This was Eric’s attempt at making plans, and I was over making plans. Plans were promises in disguise. “Maybe I could take you out Saturday?”

I had to hand it to Eric. Without an “umm” or a pause, he had asked me out.

“I’ll let you know Saturday,” I said as I climbed out of his old Range Rover.

Eric didn’t seem bothered. “Saturday,” he said.

Eric had started driving me home on my third day back to school. I’d been back for about three weeks now. Every day I seemed to pull farther away from Harvey. I’d never had a problem with confrontation before, but I didn’t know how to tell Harvey that the idea of “us” terrified me. I couldn’t promise him the things he wanted because Harvey wanted forever. And that had been so much easier to give him when forever had an expiration date. Still, I missed him, and I didn’t expect for it to hurt so bad.

Yesterday, I watched him in the hallway from an alcove of water fountains. He walked out of the bathroom and to his locker. I started to follow him. I didn’t know what I would say, but I thought that maybe I was ready to say something. I was a few steps away from him when Dennis’s sister, Debora, walked out of a classroom and into step with him. She touched his elbow and stood on her tiptoes to tell him something. He leaned his head over a little so he could hear her. My stomach twisted, and I felt my ears turning red. I turned around and went back to the gym to find Eric.

The novelty of me coming back from the dead had worn off, and now everyone at school was more concerned with whether or not the vegetarian sloppy joe in the cafeteria was actually vegetarian. I hadn’t seen much of Luke or Celeste, but I hadn’t written them off either. That would have been stupid of me.

Eric reversed down the driveway. I wondered what his story was, but I didn’t plan on asking. If we got personal, our friendship would no longer be one of convenience but instead something to maintain. Before unlocking the front door, I checked the mailbox above the doorbell. All junk mail and advertisements. At the bottom of the stack was a giant postcard folded in half. The postcard showed families on mini trains and in spinning teacups. It read: CHILL OF WINTER GOT YOU DOWN? IT’S NEVER TOO EARLY TO BOOK YOUR SUMMER VACATION TO LAKE QUASIPI FAMILY AMUSEMENT PARK! Below that was all the booking information, including local lodging rates and a list of some other nearby attractions.

Once inside, I dumped all the mail in the trash and walked to the living room. Up until fifth grade, we’d gone to Lake Quasipi every summer. It was this old, rundown amusement park that never had any lines. My memories from Lake Quasipi were perfect little slices of nostalgia where everyone got a happy ending. I remembered riding the mini mine train with Harvey when we were kids, which was basically a mini wooden roller coaster with tunnels like a mine would have. It was Harvey’s favorite, and he would beg to ride it again and again. One time the bar that sat in our laps got stuck, so we couldn’t get off the ride. The manager had to come over and help the teenager manning the ride jimmy the bar up. We both howled, thinking we would be stuck forever. My mom stood next to us, calming us down as my dad told us jokes and Natalie held our hands.

Sighing, I doubled back and fished the postcard from the trash can. I smoothed it out and laid it on the kitchen counter. Then I called Harvey. I missed him and that was worse than not knowing what to say to him. After four rings, it went to voice mail, and I fumbled with the phone, unable to hang up before leaving a four-second message of silence.

I waited, but Harvey didn’t call me back.

When my parents got home from work, they said they were going out for dinner and asked if I wanted to join. I passed, unwilling to play a role in their sham of a marriage.

The two of them rushed out the front door after making a last-minute reservation. As I locked the door behind them, the doorbell rang.

Harvey stood on the front porch, waving to my mom.

“Hi,” I said.

He turned to me. “Mind if I come in?”

I opened the door and he followed me through to the kitchen.

The house felt even quieter than it had when I was alone.

Harvey leaned up against the kitchen counter. “You called me, but I figured I’d stop by on my way home from work.”

“What made you think I’d answer the door?”

His jaw twitched with the promise of a smile. “I don’t know.” He drummed his fingers on the countertop. “I haven’t seen you much these last few weeks.”

“Yeah. Lots of catching up to do with school.” That was a lie. There was plenty of catching up to be done, but I wasn’t really doing it.