Simple Genius

“Lucky me. Okay, let’s talk about why you went to that bar.”

“Didn’t we already discuss this?”

“Humor me. I have to justify my enormous salary somehow.”

“I went there for a drink. Why do you go to bars?”

“Let’s just say I have barstools retired in my honor in eleven different states.”

“Well,” said Michelle, “I went for a drink.”

“And then what?”

“And then I got in a bar fight and got my ass kicked. That cover it for you?”

“And you’d been to that bar before?”

“No. I like to try new spots. I’m what you’d call daring.”

“I am too, but picking a bar in the middle of the highest crime area in the District of Columbia at eleven-thirty at night? Think that was a wise choice?”

She smiled and said politely, “Didn’t turn out to be, did it?”

“Did you know the brick wall you got in the fight with?”

“No. I’m not even sure how it started, to tell the truth.”

“Which I’d like you to start doing, Michelle, telling the truth, and I think you can.”

“What exactly is that supposed to mean?”

“According to the police report every eyewitness in the bar said you walked up to the biggest bastard there, tapped him on the shoulder and then sucker-punched him.”

“Well, eyewitness accounts are notoriously unreliable.”

“Sean talked to the man you attacked.”

Michelle visibly flinched at this news. “Really, why?”

Horatio didn’t bite on that. Instead he said, “The guy told Sean something interesting. Would you like to know what?”

“Well, since you’re obviously dying to tell me, go ahead and fire away.”

“He said you let him nearly kill you.”

“Well, then he was wrong. I made a bad move and he got hold of me, end of story.”

“Last night, the nurses said you kept shouting in your sleep, ‘Goodbye,

Sean.’ Do you remember saying that?”

Michelle gave a brief shake of her head.

“Were you thinking maybe of leaving your partnership with Sean? If so, shouldn’t you tell him that? Or do you want me to?”

Michelle said quickly, “No, I-” She broke off, evidently sensing a trap.

“How am I supposed to know what I meant? I was sleeping.”

“I’m a pretty good dream analyzer and I throw in nightmare interpretation for no extra charge. It’s a special I’m running this week because business is so damn slow.”

Michelle rolled her eyes.

Unperturbed, Horatio said, “You trust Sean, don’t you?”

“As much as I trust anybody,” she said tersely. “Which isn’t much these days.”

“These days. So has something changed for you?”

“Look, if you’re going to jump on every word I say, I’m just not going to say anything, okay?”

“Fair enough. I understand that your parents don’t know that you’re here. Would you like us to contact them?”

“No! I mean you call your parents if you made the Dean’s List or got a new job. Not because you checked yourself into the psych ward.”

“And why did you check yourself in here?”

“Because Sean said I had to. To avoid jail time,” she added defiantly.

“Is that the only reason? Isn’t there something else?”

Michelle sat back in the chair and curled her long legs up to her chest.

Twenty minutes later she hadn’t broken her silence and Horatio hadn’t either. Finally the psychologist switched off the recorder and rose. “I’ll be back tomorrow. In the meantime I’m available by phone at any time. If I don’t answer, you can just assume I’m either at my favorite bar or dealing with another whack job like you.”

“I guess this session was pretty much a bust. Sorry,” Michelle added sarcastically. “But I guess you get paid the same regardless, right?”

“You bet I do. But I thought our session was dynamite.”

Michelle looked confused. “How do you figure that?”

“Because you actually sat there and thought about why you wanted to be here. And I know you’re going to keep thinking about it once I leave, because you just won’t be able to help yourself.” He started to leave but then turned back. “Oh, just to warn you about something coming up.”

“Yeah?” Michelle said, the look on her face begging for a fight of some kind.

“They’re having Salisbury steak for dinner tonight. Get the PBJ option instead. The steak sucks. I don’t even think its real meat. I think it’s something the Russians invented to make dissidents talk during the Cold War.”

After Horatio left, Michelle sat down on the floor and slumped back against the wall. “Why am I here!” she screamed, kicking the chair clear across the room with one snap of her powerful right leg.

By the time a nurse came rushing in, the chair was upright and Michelle was on her feet. She said ceremoniously, “I understand the steak sucks.”

“It does. So you want the PBJ instead?” the nurse said.

“No, put me down for the steak, double helping,” Michelle said as she sauntered out the door.

“What, you a glutton for punishment?” the nurse called after her.

You bet your ass I am.

CHAPTER 9