Songs of the Dying Earth

For a while then, they progressed in silence. Evillo was shyly tongue-tied, if the truth were told.

Eventually, the snail inaugurated a brief conversation. “The man with whom you formerly spoke is, as I mentioned, a darkographer. You ask, what then is a darkographer? He is one who maps the world, before the sun goes dark and melds everything with shadow.

“But it may be that you are curious too as to the circumstances of my being here, so far from my house at Kaiin. It chanced, during pursuit of my livlihood, which is to cure burns by silkenly crawling across the afflicted area, that a rogue subdued me with a drugged lettuce and bore me off. He intended, he shamelessly confessed, to boil me with garlic to tempt his desired mistress, avile frog-eating harridan of Thamber Meadow, who is known to send men regularly to their deaths. My abductor meanwhile ranted that he had avoided someone unavoidable, by the simple expedient of not going near him, despite some inducement to do with a tapestry of gold, or some such yarn. Fortunately, another of the rogue’s fellowship, being displeased with him, came after, and slew my persecutor on the road. Unnoted during the proceedings, I escaped. Since then, I have spent six days and nights on my return journey.

“Yet enough of me. Let us discuss you. What do you seek in white-walled Kaiin?”

Evillo was nervous that he might bore his eloquent companion. Modestly, he replied, “I am only a peasant of no account. But even I have heard of the wonders of the city.”

“And your name?”

“I — call myself Evillo.”

The snail seemed to cogitate. “That is a name unfamiliar to me. I myself am known as Khiss.”

A couple more miles passed in quietness.

Then Khiss spoke again. “Tell me, friend Evillo, what trade or abilities do you bring to the city?”

Evillo sighed. “None that I know of.”

“To succeed therein,” Khiss continued in its musical, faintly tinkling voice, “you will require at least the skills of reading, numeracy, and fighting, not essentially in that order.”

“I possess none of them.”

“Alas,” said Khiss. “Let us pause.”

Dejectedly, Evillo, and so, the snail, once more sat down. They were by now on a long sweep of land, and saw the hyacinthine brink of the Scar directly before them. But what use was that? Plainly, Evillo was unfit to continue.

“What shall I do? Must I go back to the wedded despondancy of Ratgrad and Plodge?”

“Do not contemplate such a tragedy,” advised Khiss fastidiously. “Attend now. I myself am willing to teach you the three abilities I have listed, plus several others. I will even teach you to cure burns, and a little magic, for example, perhaps, Phandaal’s geas of the Unputdownable Tome, if not the indespensible but alarming Locative Selfulsion, this last being, I consider, a double-edged sword. In return for these lessons, however, due to the unmitagable Laws of Equivalence, you must in turn perform some slight corresponding services for myself. You will barely note these. Are you agreeable then to engage in such barter?”

Evillo’s head whirled. He stared into the emerald eyes of the snail Khiss which, mounted on their tender jade stalks, gazed beadily into his.

“But how long will it take you to educate me? I am an ignoramus:”

“All the more swiftly then shall we go on. Erroneous old knowledge often impedes the entry of new. Be aware that my kind, being slow of motion, are flame-swift of thought and tutor accordingly. Had men only realized as much, their empires of stars had never floundered, nor would the expiring sun now pant and swoon, but, regenerated, have reinvented the entire earth.”

Evillo sat astounded, as well he might.

Khiss eyed him a moment more, then spoke certain uncannily soporific phrases, which included the mellifluous words Twylura Phlaim, Phurn, and Undimmoril.

As the young man sprawled senseless yet again among the tubegrass, Khiss climbed to the top of a flowering blush-hyssop, and began the hypnotic schooling.

The sun meanwhile, which seemed to have picked up Khiss’ boast, fretfully veiled itself in mauve vapour. This phenomenon, understandably, caused fright and pandemonium throughout the land, since humanity naturally expected possible eternal dark at any moment. But the vapour passed within three minutes; leaving all as before.

When Evillo awoke, he at once knew that he was possessed of many handy knacks, not the least being martial art. Later that day, directly against Porphiron Scar, he was enabled to test this when a leucomorph sidled from a covert.

No sooner seen than recognized from the tales of Canja Veck, Evillo leapt feet first against the monster and brought it down. Then, reaching instinctively for his sword, Evillo impaled the leucomorph’s pallor on a solitary tree.

“But how,” Evillo wondered, “do I come to have sword belt and sword? It was instantly there to hand, and I was aware of a curious blue sheen upon it as I wielded the blade.”