Spare

Alas, my movements attracted more attention, more press. Governments had to be alerted when I crossed international borders, local police had to be notified. All my bodyguards had to be shuffled. The burden therefore would fall on Meg. In the early days, it would have to be her spending time on planes, her crisscrossing the ocean—while still working full-time on Suits. Many days the car came for her at 4:15 a.m. to take her to set.

It wasn’t fair for her to shoulder the burden, but she was willing, she said. No choice, she said. The alternative was not seeing me, and that, she said, wasn’t feasible. Or bearable.

For the hundredth time since July 1, my heart cracked open.

Then we said goodbye again.

See you in two weeks.

Two weeks. God. Yes.

14.

Soon after that day, Willy and Kate invited me over to dinner.

They knew something was going on with me and they wanted to find out what it was.

I wasn’t sure I was ready to tell them. I wasn’t sure I wanted anyone else to know just yet. But then, as we sat around their TV room, both kids tucked into bed, the moment felt right.

I casually mentioned that there was…a new woman in my life.

They surged forward. Who is she?

I’ll tell you, but please, please, please, I need you both to keep it a secret.

Yes, Harold, yes, yes—who is it?

She’s an actress.

Oh?

She’s American.

Oh.

On a show called Suits.

Their mouths fell open. They turned to each other.

Then Willy turned to me and said: Fuck off!

What?

No way.

Sorry?

Impossible!

I was baffled, until Willy and Kate explained that they were regular—nay, religious—viewers of Suits.

Great, I thought, laughing. I’ve been worrying about the wrong thing. All this time I’d thought Willy and Kate might not welcome Meg into the family, but now I had to worry about them hounding her for an autograph.

They barraged me with questions. I told them a bit of how we’d met, told them about Botswana, told them about Waitrose, told them I was smitten, but overall what I told them was heavily redacted. I just didn’t want to give away too much.

I also said I couldn’t wait for them to meet her, that I looked forward to the four of us spending lots of time together, and I confessed, for the umpteenth time, that this had long been my dream—to join them with an equal partner. To become a foursome. I’d said this to Willy so many times, and he’d always replied: It might not happen, Harold! And you’ve got to be OK with that. Well, now I felt that it was going to happen, and I told him so—but he still said to slow down.

She’s an American actress after all, Harold. Anything might happen.

I nodded, a bit hurt. Then hugged him and Kate and left.

15.

Meg came back to London a week later.

October 2016.

We lunched with Marko and his family, and I introduced her to a few other close mates. All good. Everyone loved her.

Emboldened, I felt the time had come for her to meet my family.

She agreed.

First stop, Royal Lodge. To meet Fergie, because Meg already knew Fergie’s daughter Euge, and Jack, so this seemed a logical baby step. But as we neared Royal Lodge I got word on my phone.

Granny was there.

She’d popped in.

On her way from church back to the castle.

Meg said: Fun! I love grandmas.

I asked if she knew how to curtsy. She said she thought so. But she also couldn’t tell if I was serious.

You’re about to meet the Queen.

I know, but it’s your grandma.

But she’s the Queen.

We pulled into the driveway, drove across the gravel, parked next to the big green box hedge.

Fergie came outside, somewhat aflutter, and said: Do you know how to curtsy?

Meg shook her head.

Fergie demonstrated once. Meg imitated her.

There wasn’t time for a more advanced tutorial. We couldn’t keep Granny waiting.

As we walked towards the door Fergie and I both leaned into Meg, whispering quick reminders. When you first meet the Queen it’s Your Majesty. Thereafter it’s just Ma’am. Rhymes with ham.

Just, whatever you do, don’t talk over her, we both said, talking over each other.

We entered the large front sitting room and there she was. Granny. The monarch. Queen Elizabeth II. Standing in the middle of the room. She turned slightly. Meg went straight to her and dropped a deep, flawless curtsy.

Your Majesty. Pleasure to meet you.