Temple of the Winds

The spirit followed, as they sometimes did, interested in him. a curiosity, perhaps, in their world.

"I have brought you something," the spirit said. Richard turned. "What?"

She held out a rose. The green of the stem and the red of the petals were stunning in this colorless world, a ripple of pleasure to his eyes. The fragrance filled his lungs with its pleasant aroma. He had almost forgotten the pleasure of such a thing. "What am I to do with this?"

The spirit held it out, urging him to take it. He had no fear of the spirits who came to see him. Even those who hated him could not harm him. He knew how to protect himself.

Richard took the rose. "Thank you." He slid the stem behind his belt. He turned and continued on. The spirit of Kahlan's mother followed. He didn't like looking into her face. Though she was a spirit, and her features were indistinct in that glow they had, she still looked too much like Kahlan. "Richard, may I talk with you?"

His footsteps echoed through the vast hall. "If you wish." "I wish to tell you about my daughter. Kahlan." Richard stopped and turned back to the spirit. "Why?" "Because she is part of me. She was of my flesh, just as you are of your mother's flesh. Kahlan is my connection to the world of life, the place I once was. Where you must return."

Richard started out once more. "I am home. I have no intention of returning to that bitter world. If you wish me to carry a message to your daughter. I'm sorry, I can't. Leave me."

He lifted his hand to banish her from the hall, but she raised her hands, pleading for him to stay his power.

"I do not wish you to carry a message. Kahlan knows I love her. I wish to talk to you." "Why?"

"Because of what I did to Kahlan." "Did to her? What did you do to her?"

"I instilled in her a sense of duty. 'Confessors don't have love, Kahlan. They have duty. That was what I told her. To my shame, I never explained what I meant by that. I fear I left her no room for life.

"More than any Confessor I knew, Kahlan wanted to live life. to relish it. Duty denied her much of that. That is what makes her such a good protector of her people. She wants them to have a chance at their joy, because she sees so clearly what she was denied. She is left to take small pleasures as she can." "Is there a point to this?" "Don't you enjoy life, Richard?"

Richard walked on. "I understand about duty. I have been born to duty. I am now done with it. I am done with everything." "You, too, misunderstand what I meant about duty. To the right person, the person who is truly born to it, duty is a form of love, through which all is possible. Duty is not always a denial of things, but an expansion of them to others. Duty is not always a chore, but is best carried out with love. "Will you not return to her, Richard? She needs you." "Kahlan has a husband, now. I have no place in her life." "You have a place in her heart." "Kahlan said she would never forgive me."

"Richard, have you never said something you didn't mean, in desperation? Have you never wished you could take back the words?"

"I can't return to her. She is married to another. She has given an oath, and she has. . I won't go back."

"Even if she is married to another, even if you cannot be with her, even if it breaks your heart to know you can't have her, don't you love her enough to mend her heart? To put her heart at peace? Is it all you, and none of it her, in this love you have?"

Richard glared at the spirit. "She has found happiness in my absence. She doesn't need anything from me." "Do you find enjoyment in the rose, Richard?" Richard walked on. "Yes, it's very nice, thank you." "Will you consider going back, then?"

Richard wheeled to the spirit of Kahlan's mother. "Thank you for the rose. Here are a thousand in repayment, so you may not say I owe you anything in return!"

Richard cast out his hand and the air filled with roses. Rose petals flew and swirled in a red blizzard.

"I'm sorry I could not make you understand, Richard. I can see that I only bring you pain. I will leave you."

When she vanished, the floor was bespattered with red petals, looking like nothing so much as a pool of blood.

Richard sank to the floor, feeling too sick to stand. Soon, he would be one of them, a spirit, and he would not have to endure this limbo where he twisted between worlds. He had food, when he wanted it, he had sleep, when he wanted it, but he couldn't maintain life here indefinitely. This was not the world of life.

Soon enough, he would be one of them, and finished with this emptiness that was his life.

Kahlan had once filled that emptiness. She had once been everything to him. He had trusted her. He had thought his heart had been safe in her care. He had imagined more than was true. How could he have been such a fool? Was it all such illusion?

Richard's head came up. He peered across the hall. He went through a mental, inventory of the items stored here. The gazing font. It was there, across the hall. He knew how to use it.