Temple of the Winds

"I know, I know," Kahlan whispered. She parted from Berdine, keeping her voice low. "What are you doing here? I thought you went up to the Keep to relieve Cara."

"I did, but I had to come down to talk to you."

"You mean the sliph is unguarded?" Berdine nodded. "Berdine, we can't leave her alone. We would never know if someone slipped into Aydindril-someone with dangerous magic. That was what-"

Berdine shushed her. "I know. This is important, too. Besides, what difference does it really make? Cara and I have lost our power. We couldn't stop someone with magic, now, if they did come through the sliph.

"I have to talk to you, Mother Confessor, and I can never do it in the day because Drefan is always showing up."

"Don't let him catch you calling him anything other than Lord Rahl, or he-" "He isn't Lord Rahl. He isn't. Mother Confessor." "I know. But he's all the Lord Rahl we have."

Berdine looked Kahlan in the eye. "Cara and I have been talking. We decided we should kill him. We need you to help us."

"We can't do that." Kahlan gripped Berdine's shoulder. "We can't.", "Sure we can. We'll hide out on the balcony, you get him out of his clothes so that he's away from those knives of his, and while you. . distract his attention, we'll burst in and end it." "Berdine, we can't."

"Well, all right, if you're skittish about that plan, we can easily think of another. The point is, we have to kill him." "No, the point is, we can't kill him."

Berdine scowled. "Do you want to be married to that pig? Sooner or later, he's going to insist on his rights as your husband."

"Berdine, listen to me. Even if he does that, I will have to endure it. I can endure rape if it means saving lives. We can't kill Drefan. He's the only Lord Rahl we have. Until we can figure out what to do, he is the only thing holding the army together. "Right now. they're confused by his aggressive command. D'Harans are used to being told what to do by Lord Rahl. Drefan is acting as if he is the Lord Rahl and, for the moment, the army is scratching their heads, wondering if they're sure he isn't."

"But he isn't," Berdine insisted.

"But at the moment, that's all that is holding the whole thing together. If it falls apart, then the Imperial Order will be able to roll right over the Midlands. Drefan is right about that much of it."

''But you are the Mother Confessor. General Kerson is loyal to you. Even without the bond. he sticks around because of you. Most of the officers do the same. Because of you, not Drefan. You could hold things together as well as Drefan. Maybe it would work."

"And maybe not. I may not like Drefan, but he has done nothing to earn assassination. As much as I don't like his ways, he's doing his best to keep us all together. With him, and me, we may be able to keep everyone together in this." Berdine tilled her head closer. "It won't last, and you know it." Kahlan wiped a hand across her face. "Berdine, Drefan is my husband. I have sworn an oath to him."

"An oath, is it? Then why haven't you let him in your bed?" Kahlan opened her mouth, but couldn't find the words.

"It's because of Lord Rahl, isn't it? You still think he's coming back, don't you? You want him to come back."

Kahlan put her fingertips to her lips. She turned away. "If Richard was going to come back. he'd have done so by now."

"Maybe it's the plague, maybe he isn't finished ridding the magic of the plague. Maybe when he's finished, he will return." Kahlan hugged her arms to herself. She knew that wasn't it. "Mother Confessor, you do want him to return, don't you?" "I'm married to Drefan. I have a husband."

"That isn't what I asked you. You do want him to return. You must want him to come back."

Kahlan shook her head. "He said he would always love me. He said his heart would always be mine. He promised." Kahlan swallowed the anguish. "He walked away. I may have-hurt him, but if he really loved me, he wouldn't do this to me. He'd have given me a chance. ." "But you still want him back."

"No. I don't want ever to go through this kind of pain again. I don't want ever to leave myself open to this much hurt. I was wrong ever to let myself fall in love with him in the first place." Kahlan shook her head again. "I don't want him to come back."

"I don't believe you. You're just upset, as I get because Raina died. But if she came back. I'd forgive her for dying and take her back in a heartbeat."

"Not Richard. I'll not trust my heart to him again. Regardless of what I did, that doesn't make it right for him to hurt me as he did. He just walked away from me, and after he'd made promises of always loving me no matter what. He failed me in that test.

"I never thought he would hurt me like that. I thought my heart was safe with him, no matter what, but it wasn't." Berdine turned her around and gripped her shoulders.

"Mother Confessor, you don't mean that. You don't. Trust works both ways. If you really loved him, then you must trust in him, no matter what, just as you expected him to always trust in you."