Teresa, My Love: An Imagined Life of the Saint of Avila

TERESA, heavy sigh, before resuming, convinced and convincing. Heaven opens its gates to us in this life, that’s what I’m trying to say. Your business, the trato as you call it, is an affair of faith, that is, of knowledge. But it’s not because the contemplation I dwell in is an affair of the heart that the soul does not unite fully with God. (Short silence. Normal voice.) Then, in the surrender to God’s will, “the soul wants neither death nor life”: “Tiene tanta fuerza este rendimiento a ella, que la muerte ni la vida se quiere, si no es por poco tiempo cuando desea ver a Dios.”⁴⁶ (Beaming smile.) We concur on this point, my son, don’t we?

JOHN OF THE CROSS, clearing his throat, hesitating a moment, then speaking fast. There’s no longer any need to question God as in the olden days, under the Ancient Law. (Without looking at her, his eyes seem to be listening.) Listen to Christ: God has no more to reveal. The Word no longer speaks, and instead the Spirit of Truth makes itself understood. (Closes eyes.) Understanding…understanding…understanding.…(Gazing in rapture at the ceiling, with ramrod body.)

TERESA. In my own way I, too, manage to attain a measure of understanding…reaching the Spirit of truth itself…fire and splendor.…“Neither death nor life are objects of desire anymore,” do you hear me? And if my intercession could lead a single soul to love Him more, it would matter more to me than being in glory. “Y si pudiese ser parte que siquiera un alma le amase más y alabase por mi intercesión, que aunque fuese por poco tiempo, me parece importa más que estar en la gloria.”⁴⁷

Therefore do the virgins love thee…

The Song of Songs, which is Solomon’s.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth…⁴⁸

You’ll say, my great friend, that I lack “understanding of the vernacular meaning of the Latin,” and you have a point. But I feel great joy every time I read the Song of Songs, a great spiritual consolation, for “my soul is stirred and recollected more than by devotional books written in the language I understand.”⁴⁹

A deafening noise interrupts the holy dialogue. The monastery door is being battered by fists, sticks, and musket butts; will it hold firm?

The stage goes dark for the duration of the protracted assault.

When the lights come up again, but only dimly, the moribund woman is back in bed.

TERESA, agitated. Owls, Carmelites of the observation, cats, wolves, discalced monks.…I mean, mitigated ones.…All of them, anyway, they’re coming, they’re after Brother John! Help, Sisters, help! (La Madre rears up in bed, fearfully. She fears the martyrdom planned by the enemies of her discalced reforms for this peerlessly chaste and pure priest. Or does she really fear John’s judgment of her?)

ANA DE SAN BARTOLOMÉ, never having had much notion of time, now confuses one major crisis with another. After all, there have been so many. No, Mother, it’s the alguaciles trying to break down the door. But don’t worry, the sisters are reinforcing it with heavy joists. We’ll look after you!

ACT 3, SCENE 2

TERESA OF AVILA

TERESITA

JOHN OF THE CROSS

HIS COMPANION

BOSSUET, bishop, writer, the “Eagle of Meaux”

SYLVIA LECLERCQ, psychologist

The stage goes momentarily dark. Teresa is still in conversation with John, now present only in the forms of his voice and his portrait, an anonymous work of the Spanish school.

JOHN OF THE CROSS, voice receding, reciting his works. “The interior bodily sense — namely, the imagination and the fancy; this we must likewise void of all the imaginary apprehensions and forms that may belong to it by nature.…”⁵⁰

Now the flame returns, henceforth to remain on stage. Teresa is back at the Incarnation, alone, this time in her prioress’s chair. She converses with John’s spirit; there is no longer any bodily evidence of him.