The Adventure of the Christmas Pudding

‘As you say, naturally,’ agreed Poirot. ‘Women distrust the official police. They prefer private investigations. They do not want to have their troubles made public. An elderly woman came to consult me a few days ago. She was unhappy about a husband she'd quarrelled with many years before. This husband of hers was your uncle, the late Mr Gascoigne.’

George Lorrimer's face went purple.

‘My uncle? Nonsense! His wife died many years ago.’

‘Not your uncle, Mr Anthony Gascoigne. Your uncle, Mr Henry Gascoigne.’

‘Uncle Henry? But he wasn't married!’

‘Oh yes, he was,’ said Hercule Poirot, lying unblushingly. ‘Not a doubt of it. The lady even brought along her marriage certificate.’

‘It's a lie!’ cried George Lorrimer. His face was now as purple as a plum. ‘I don't believe it. You're an impudent liar.’

‘It is too bad, is it not?’ said Poirot. ‘You have committed murder for nothing.’

‘Murder?’ Lorrimer's voice quavered. His pale eyes bulged with terror.

‘By the way,’ said Poirot, ‘I see you have been eating blackberry tart again. An unwise habit. Blackberries are said to be full of vitamins, but they may be deadly in other ways. On this occasion I rather fancy they have helped to put a rope round a man's neck — your neck, Dr Lorrimer.’

‘You see, mon ami, where you went wrong was over your fundamental assumption.’ Hercule Poirot, beaming placidly across the table at his friend, waved an expository hand. ‘A man under severe mental stress doesn't choose that time to do something that he's never done before. His reflexes just follow the track of least resistance. A man who is upset about something might conceivably come down to dinner dressed in his pyjamas — but they will be his own pyjamas — not somebody else's.

‘A man who dislikes thick soup, suet pudding and blackberries suddenly orders all three one evening. You say, because he is thinking of something else. But I say that a man who has got something on his mind will order automatically the dish he has ordered most often before.

‘Eh bien, then, what other explanation could there be? I simply could not think of a reasonable explanation. And I was worried! The incident was all wrong. It did not fit! I have an orderly mind and I like things to fit. Mr Gascoigne's dinner order worried me.

‘Then you told me that the man had disappeared. He had missed a Tuesday and a Thursday the first time for years. I liked that even less. A queer hypothesis sprang up in my mind. If I were right about it the man was dead. I made inquiries. The man was dead. And he was very neatly and tidily dead. In other words the bad fish was covered up with the sauce!

‘He had been seen in the King's Road at seven o'clock. He had had dinner here at seven-thirty — two hours before he died. It all fitted in — the evidence of the stomach contents, the evidence of the letter. Much too much sauce! You couldn't see the fish at all!

‘Devoted nephew wrote the letter, devoted nephew had beautiful alibi for time of death. Death very simple — a fall down the stairs. Simple accident? Simple murder? Everyone says the former.

‘Devoted nephew only surviving relative. Devoted nephew will inherit — but is there anything to inherit? Uncle notoriously poor.

‘But there is a brother. And brother in his time had married a rich wife. And brother lives in a big rich house on Kingston Hill, so it would seem that rich wife must have left him all her money. You see the sequence — rich wife leaves money to Anthony, Anthony leaves money to Henry, Henry's money goes to George — a complete chain.’

‘All very pretty in theory,’ said Bonnington. ‘But what did you do?’