“Not bad, but”—Big Mac crossed the floor and lowered his voice, even though Mr. Khufaji had exited—“one of Vincent Agrippa’s ‘well-placed sources’ texted him twenty minutes ago about a ‘unilateral cease-fire’ coming into play tomorrow.”
I doubted that. “Mac, the Fallujah militia won’t roll over now. Perhaps as a regrouping exercise—”
“No, not the insurgents. The marines are standing down.”
“Bloody hell. Where is this source? General Sanchez’s office?”
“Nope. The army’ll be spitting cold shit over this. They’ll be, ‘If you’re going to take Vienna, take fucking Vienna.’ ”
“Do you think Bremer cooked this one up?”
“My friend: The Great Envoy couldn’t cook his own testes in a Jacuzzi of lava.”
“You’ll have to give me a clue, then, won’t you?”
“Since you’re buying the beers, here’s three.” Big Mac took a five-second cigar break. “C, I, and A. It’s a direct order from Dick Cheney’s office.”
“Vincent Agrippa has a source in the CIA? But he’s French! He’s a cheese-eating surrender monkey.”
“Vincent Agrippa has a source in God’s panic room, and it pans out. Cheney’s afraid that Fallujah’ll split the Coalition of the Willing—not that they’re a coalition, or willing, but hey. Join us for dinner after you’ve freshened up—guess what’s on the menu.”
“Could it be chicken and rice?” There were fifty dishes on the Safir’s official menu, but only chicken and rice was ever served.
“Holy shit, the man’s telepathic.”
“I’ll be down after slipping into something more comfortable.”
“Promises, promises, you tart.” Big Mac returned to the bar while I climbed up to the first landing—the elevators haven’t worked since 2001—the second, and the third. Through the window I looked across the oil-black Tigris at the Green Zone, lit up like Disneyland in Dystopia. I thought about J. G. Ballard’s novel
I TAKE ANOTHER ibuprofen and sigh at my laptop screen. I wrote an account of the explosion on yesterday’s flight from Istanbul with dodgy guts and not enough sleep, and I’m afraid it shows: Nonfiction that smells like fiction is neither. A statement from Rumsfeld about Iraq is due at eleven A.M. East Coast time, but that’s fifty minutes away. I click on the telly to CNN World with the sound down, but it’s only a White House reporter discussing what “a well-placed source close to the secretary of defense” thinks Rumsfeld might say when he comes on. On her bed, Aoife yawns and puts down her
“No, poppet. I was just checking something for work.”
“Is that big white building in Bad Dad?”
“No, it’s the White House. In Washington.”
“Why’s it white? Do only white people live in it?”
“Er … Yes.” I switch the TV off. “Naptime, Aoife.”
“Are we right under Granddad Dave and Grandma Kath’s room?”
I should be reading to her, really—Holly does—but I have to get my article done. “They’re on the floor above us, but not directly overhead.”
We hear seagulls. The net curtain sways. Aoife’s quiet.
“Daddy, can we visit Dwight Silverwind after my nap?”
“Let’s not start that again. You need a bit of shut-eye.”
“You told Mummy you were going to take a nap too.”
“I will, but you go first. I have to finish this article and email it to New York by tonight.”
“Why?”
“Where d’you think money comes from to buy food, clothes, and
“Your pocket. And Mummy’s.”
“And how does it get in there?”
“The Money Fairy.” Aoife’s just being cute.
“Yeah. Well, I’m the Money Fairy.”
“But Mummy earns money at her job, too.”