When one compares English poetry with Italian or that of any Romance language, one sees that English poetic speech is more concrete in its expressions; an English poet writing a love lyric tends to express his feelings in terms of imagery and metaphors drawn from nature, rather than stating them directly. Further, English and Italian notions of what it is proper for an amorous male to say and do are different. To an English sensibility, Ottavio's exclusive concentration upon himself—she mustn't be unhappy because it makes him unhappy—is a bit distasteful. Lastly, Da Ponte's lyric contains only a single idea repeated over and over again with but slight variations, but Mozart has given his second stanza a completely different musical treatment. Accordingly we tried to write a lyric which should be a) more concrete in diction, b) make Ottavio think more about Donna Anna than himself and c) less repetitive.
Shine, Lights of Heaven, Guardians immortal, Shine on my true love, Waking or sleeping, Sun, moon and starlight, Comfort her woe.
O nimble breezes, O stately waters,
Obey a lover, Proclaim her beauty And sing her praises Where'er you go.
(Ah, I feel it / it has vanished / for ever away / the joy of love. Never will you come / hours of wonder / back to my heart / See, Tamino / these tears flowing, beloved, for you alone / If you do not feel the sighs of love / then there will be peace in death.)
The aria contains a number of high notes, long runs and phrases which repeat like an echo. Any English version, therefore, must provide open vowels for the high notes and runs, and phrases which can sound like echoes. There is a certain kind of English poetry which is based upon the
repetition of a word or words in slightly different context, for instance, Donne's "The Expiation."
Go, go, and if that word hath not quite killed thee,
Ease me with death by bidding me go too,
Or, if it have, let my word work on me
And a just office on a murderer do;
Except it be too late to kill me so,
Being double dead, going and bidding go.
Given Pamina's situation it seemed to us that we might make use of this style and build our lyric round the words
Hearts may break though grief be silent, True hearts make their love their lives, Silence love with ended lives; Love that dies in one false lover Kills the heart where love survives.
O Tamino, see the silence Of my tears betray my grief, Faithful grief.
If you flee my love in silence, In faithless silence, Let my sorrow die with me. If you can betray Pamina, If you love me not, Tamino, Let my sorrow die with me And silent be.