The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate

Oh. Vetch. Bloody red murder raged in my bosom. I wanted to fly across the table at him, but instead I frothed in silence through the rest of that interminable meal. Never before had the obligatory dinner conversation sounded so inane. Never before had I seen my family as such half-wits, such hayseeds, such dolts. The only saving grace was that Father, as a cattle owner, appreciated the importance of a possible new strain of “oh, vetch” and asked if it could be used for feed, but I was in too much of a snit to pay attention.

Finally, finally, it was over, and Granddaddy and I retired to the library and closed the door. He took one of the tiny keys off his waistcoat chain, opened the locked drawer to his desk, and pulled out some sheets of thick, cream-colored writing paper.

He said, “Light the lamp, Calpurnia. Let us cast some light in the shadowy corners of Terra Incognita. Let us hold high the lamp of knowledge and expunge another dragon from the map. We shall write to the Smithsonian Institution.”

I set a match to the kindling in the fireplace and ran and got extra lamps and set them around the perimeter of his blotter like an intimate constellation. He dipped his pen, paused and stared into space, dipped his pen again, and then wrote in his old-fashioned hand,

August 8, 1899

Dear Sirs,

    It has come to our attention during our daily rambles in this small corner of Caldwell County, located in the center of Texas, forty-five miles (approx.) due south of the State Capital of Austin, that there may be a new species of vetch, which we have the honor to present to you gentlemen. The plant is, on first inspection, a common member of the lowly pasture Vicia villosa, also known as hairy vetch. However, you will see, as described below and from the photographs . . .

It took him two full pages to describe the Plant and the Very Important Tiny Leaf. And at the end he signed it, as I looked over his shoulder,

Faithfully yours,

Walter Tate and Calpurnia Virginia Tate

He sat back in his chair. “There we are,” he said. “We shall see. We shall have to wait and see.”

I put my hand on his shoulder. He took a slow deep breath and said, “I thought the day would never come, my girl. I thought I might die before it happened.”

And there we were. A new species. A photograph. And me, his girl.

CHAPTER 13

A SCIENTIFIC

CORRESPONDENCE

When a race of plants is once pretty well established, the seed-raisers do not pick out the best plants, but merely go over their seed-beds, and pull up the “rogues,” as they call the plants that deviate from the proper standard.

THE PLANT TOOK UP RESIDENCE in the southern windowsill of the laboratory and, after some anxiety on my part, grabbed a firm hold on life. We inspected it several times a day, vigilant for signs of under- or overwatering, too much or too little sun, spider mites, drafts, chlorosis, general malaise. Every time I found a ladybug, I rushed it to the Plant to stand guard for pests, but my tiny crimson sentries always wandered off. We made detailed daily notes in the log, a crisp new marbled-cover book reserved for the Plant. Terrified that somebody might toss the Plant out in some misplaced fit of tidying up, I tacked a small warning sign beneath the flowerpot:

EXPERIMENT IN PROGRESS. DO NOT

MESS WITH THIS PLANT. I MEAN IT.

Calpurnia Virginia Tate (Callie, Vee).

Twelve days later, we received our first correspondence about the Plant. From Mr. Hofacket. He wrote asking if we’d received word from the Smithsonian. He’d put copies of the photographs in his window between the stiff bride and the naked baby lolling on a white bearskin rug, and several new customers had come into the shop to inquire after the curious pictures of a nondescript weed.

“Calpurnia, you are part of this endeavor,” Granddaddy said. “Would you please write to Mr. Hofacket and remind him again that it is far too soon to receive word about this? I told him repeatedly that it would be months. Nevertheless, we must cultivate enthusiasm in the layman whenever and wherever we find it.”