The Female Man

"I've never been to France," said Jeannine languidly; "I often thought I'd-well, I just haven't been." Don't stare at me. She slouched and narrowed her eyes. She wanted to put one hand up affectedly to shade her forehead; she wanted to cry out, "Look! There's my boyfriend Cal," but there wasn't a sign of him, and if she turned to the grocery-store window it would be full of fish's intestines and slabs of dried fish; she knew that.

It-would-make-her-sick! (She stared at a carp with its guts coming out.) I'm shaking all over.

"Who did your hair?" she asked Miss Evason, and when Miss Evason didn't understand: "Who streaked your hair so beautifully?"

"Time," and Miss Evason laughed and Miss Dadier laughed. Miss Dadier laughed beautifully, gloriously, throwing her head back; everyone admired the curve of Miss Dadier's throat. Eyes turned. A beautiful body and personality to burn. "I can't possibly go with you," said Miss Dadier magnificently, her fur coat swirling; "There's Cal, there's New York, there's my work, New York in springtime, I can't leave, my life is here," and the spring wind played with her hair.

Crazy Jeannine nodded, petrified.

"Good," said Janet Evason. "We'll get you a leave from work." She whistled and around the corner at a dead run came two plainclothes policemen in tan raincoats: enormous, jowly, thick-necked, determined men who will continue running-at a dead heat-through the rest of this tale. But we won't notice them.

Jeannine looked in astonishment from their raincoats to Miss Evason's raincoat.

She did not approve at all.

"So that's why it doesn't fit," she said. Janet pointed to Jeannine for the benefit of the cops.

"Boys, I've got one."

The Chinese New Festival was invented to celebrate the recapture of Hong Kong from the Japanese. Chiang Kai-shek died of heart disease in 1951 and Madam Chiang is premieress of the New China. Japan, which controls the mainland, remains fairly quiet since it lacks the backing of-for example-a reawakened Germany, and if any war occurs, it will be between the Divine Japanese Imperiality and the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (there are twelve).

Americans don't worry much. Germany still squabbles occasionally with Italy or England; France (disgraced in the abortive putsch of '42) is beginning to have trouble with its colonial possessions. Britain -wiser-gave India provisional self-government in 1966.

The Depression is still world-wide.

(But think-only think!-what might have happened if the world had not so luckily slowed down, if there had been a really big war, for big wars are forcing-houses of science, economics, politics; think what might have happened, what might not have happened. It's a lucky world. Jeannine is lucky to live in it She doesn't think so.)

XI

(Cal, who came out of the Chinese luncheonette just in time to see his girl go off with three other people, did not throw the lunch buns to the ground in a fit of exasperated rage and stamp on them. Some haunted Polish ancestor looked out of his eyes. He was so thin and slight that his ambitions shone through him: I'll make it some day, baby. I'll be the greatest. He sat down on a fire plug and began to eat the buns.

She'll have to come back to feed her cat.)

PART THREE

I

This is the lecture. If you don't like it, you can skip to the next chapter.

Before Janet arrived on this planet

I was moody, ill-at-ease, unhappy, and hard to be with. I didn't relish my breakfast. I spent my whole day combing my hair and putting on make-up. Other girls practiced with the shot-put and compared archery scores, but I-indifferent to javelin and crossbow, positively repelled by horticulture and ice hockey-all I did was dress for The Man smile for The Man talk wittily to The Man sympathize with The Man flatter The Man understand The Man defer to The Man entertain The Man keep The Man live for The Man.

Then a new interest entered my life. After I called up Janet, out of nothing, or she called up me (don't read between the lines; there's nothing there) I began to gain weight, my appetite improved, friends commented on my renewed zest for life, and a nagging scoliosis of the ankle that had tortured me for years simply vanished overnight. I don't even remember the last time I had to go to the aquarium and stifle my sobs by watching the sharks. I rode in closed limousines with Janet to television appearances much like the one you already saw in the last chapter; I answered her questions; I bought her a pocket dictionary; I took her to the zoo; I pointed out New York's skyline at night as if I owned it.

Oh, I made that woman up; you can believe it!