The Love Child

“The fact that he fathered a child-and such a child-makes him seem less lost to me,” he said. “How I wish it could have been in different circumstances. There is no one I would rather have seen him married to, dear Priscilla. And Carlotta delights me.

I want to watch her all the time. I want to listen to her. She is the most enchanting child that ever was. This has been like a new life to me. How I thank my good fortune that I decided to come to Enderby Hall. It was like fate, wasn’t it? And there she was in the house … in Carlotta’s cupboard. Oh, how glad I am! You need have no fear. This shall be our secret until you wish it to be divulged. I would not cause you, who have given me such wonderful happiness, one moment of grief.”

So he talked and I thought that no harm had been done. He was such a delightful man and there was no doubt that the revelation had brought him great happiness.

But when I went to see him soon after at Enderby Hall, I was more than ever aware of the sense of foreboding in that house. It was a house of shadows; there was an eeriness in spite of the bright furnishings and the smell of beeswax and turpentine which his servants used so lavishly.

When Robert appeared, the mood of the house seemed to change, but when I stood alone in the hall, I seemed to sense something evil, something which was like a warning.

I wondered whether it was the shadow of past tragedy, but somehow I could not get out of my mind the feeling that it was a warning of some impending disaster.

After that I saw a great deal of Robert. We had naturally moved closer together.

He was a frequent visitor at Eversleigh Court and I was often at Enderby Hall. He was so pathetically eager to see me, and Carlotta often came with me. That was indeed a red-letter day for him.

I was glad that Carlotta liked him and went out of her way to charm him. She need not have bothered, she did it effortlessly. Such was her nature that the more pleasure he showed hi her company, the more she liked him. I was glad to see that he inspired a certain gentleness in her nature which I had not noticed before. There was nothing she liked better than to serve us with coffee or chocolate, which was becoming so fashionable in the London coffeehouses. Carlotta would preside at the table and we would watch her with pride as she brought the beverages to us.

“My father and mother took tea when they were in London,” she told us. “It is a strange outlandish herb, they say. They didn’t like it much, but it is being drunk by all the notable people.”

Her eyes sparkled. I knew she longed to go to London and mingle with the notables.

“My mother says that when I am fourteen, which is this year, she will take me to London.”

I could never become accustomed to hearing her refer to Harriet as her mother, although I should by this time.

“What do you want to do in London?” asked Robert indulgently.

“I want to go to balls and to be presented to the King. It is a pity the poor Queen died. It means the Court is very dull. And of course there is no heir to the throne except Princess Anne. It makes rather a dull Court. Still the balls must be gay, mustn’t they? And I should love to see it. Benjie says it is fun to go to the coffeehouses.

Important people meet there and talk and talk. Then there are the shops. How I should love to go to London.”

“And what would you buy in the shops?” asked Robert.

“I would buy beautiful materials to be made into ball gowns. I would buy a riding habit in pearl grey with a hard grey hat with a feather that has a little blue in it… but not too much … bluey grey. Then I would buy a diamond brooch.”

“It seems,” I interrupted, “that you would spend a small fortune within a few hours.

You should be happy to buy just one of those things to start with.”

I saw Robert calculating and I knew what the outcome would be. We should soon be seeing Carlotta in a grey riding habit; silks would be arriving at the house; and before long there would be a diamond brooch.

I remonstrated with him. “You give her too much,” I protested. “She will wonder why.”

“Carlotta will never have to wonder why people want to please her. I never saw such a delightful girl.”

It was her fourteenth birthday-a dull October day-and when I awoke I thought, as I always did on this anniversary, of that day in Venice when I first heard the cry of my child.