The Mariner

“It’s logical in a completely insane way.” Beth sighed again, shaking her head at the nonsense of her own life. Mind still locked in lust, he wondered if she’d make a similar sound when penetrated.

“And the pills helped?”

“Oh yes.” Beth brightened up at the mention of treatment. “They’re amazing. Little by little the compulsion lessened until I realised I didn’t want to cut at all.”

“But what if your hurtful thoughts come back? What then?”

“Maybe if they get bad enough I’ll cut. But I’ll take a pill while I do it to make sure the habit doesn’t return. Cutting’s now a tool at my disposal, whereas I used to be the tool for it. You get my meaning?”

The Mariner did. Tetrazzini had expressed the same sentiment repeatedly.

“Here we are,” said Beth, stopping in the street. “Your ship’s that way, my new home the other.”

He glanced along both streets, concerned that she might evade him if he didn’t follow to her new lodgings. Fortunately the streets were empty and darkening.

“I’ll accompany you a bit longer, there are plenty of undesirables in this town.”

“Ain’t that the truth? I heard about what happened to Rebecca. How awful. I’m so glad you were with her. She should have known better than to go to a place like that.”

“I should have done more,” he said sadly, though in his heart he wasn’t sure if he meant to help, or… the alternative.

Beth seemed to assume he meant the more savoury option, and tried to reassure him, caressing his arm. “You did all you could.” He shuddered lightly at her touch, enjoying the warmth of her fingers.

She wants it, his mind whispered. It can hardly be a crime if she wants it.

But did she? He stared at her face, those warm brown eyes, and wondered just where reality ended and his lust began?

Her hand was still on his arm, holding him slightly as they walked. Was this her way of being forward? Thoughts of placing his arm arm around her were weighed up in his mind. If he did, perhaps she would pull even closer? Perhaps then he could slide his hand down and caress the curves of her behind?

But then she let go and resumed their previous distance. The Mariner’s heart was thudding, his nerves plaguing every thought.

“Do you plan on staying in Sighisoara?” she asked him, unaware of the battle of urges raging inside her escort.

“For a while. The doctor has a whole plan laid out for my recovery, and it might take some time.”

“Well stick with it,” she assured him. “Do everything he tells you to, the man’s a genius.”

“Yes, I think I will,” the Mariner replied, his lust surging. “And I agree. He certainly is.”

“And this is home,” she said as they arrived at a large farm-like building. “Behind it is the orchard where I’ll work, from now until whenever.”

“What do you get in return?”

“A meal and a bed. As far as I’m concerned that’s a bloody good deal.”

“You plan on staying here indefinitely?”

“Where else would I go? This is the closest thing to the old world I’ve found. Do you know of anywhere like it?”

The Mariner had to admit he didn’t. Never before had he found a community as built up as this.

“Tell you what,” she continued. “If you find Manchester out there, come back and get me.”

He nodded, although he’d never heard of the place.

“It was a pleasure to see you again, Mr…?”

Embarrassed by the situation, the Mariner could only shake his head. “I don’t know. Sorry.”

“Oh well. Keep your secrets then. If you decide to share, perhaps you’d like to drop by sometime?”

“I’d like that.”

With goodbyes said, Beth fished a large key out of her pocket and stubbornly worked its way into the wooden door. With a shy and self-conscious glance back, she entered, closing it behind her, the sound of the lock turning a false chime to her safety.

Inside he could hear voices, no doubt her new landlord and employer listing the household rules. The Mariner listened for a moment and reluctantly decided to go for a stroll. It would do no good to strike so soon, he would have to wait for the house to settle.

He made his way down the street, marking the journey in his mind, keen not to lose his bearings. About him the town seemed silent, yet there were still signs of life. Candles were lit within homes creating thin strips of warmth between shutters. Wedged between the houses of Sighisoara, the Mariner felt as if he were once more within the make-do world of the Neptune, rather than in the comfort of Tetrazzini’s rehab centre, an abode otherworldly in its excess.

Despite no longer being able to see Beth, the Mariner trembled with excitement. It had been a long time since he’d laid with a woman. He tried to remember any previous acts of intimacy, to recall the sensation, but an era of frustration separated him. He supposed at one time he could have been attracted to a woman out of respect, perhaps his cock might have stirred from admiration, but now the idea seemed too pale, too childish, too bland for his tastes.