The Mountain Shadow

‘They are universally recognised, and would be recognised by your more evolved and advanced alien species, I am sure. If you look at their opposites, you’ll see why they are positive characteristics – Death, Unconsciousness, Slavery, Enmity, Destruction, and Iniquity. You do see what I am saying, don’t you? These positive characteristics are universal.’

‘Okay, if we accept the set of positive characteristics, how do we measure it? Who gets to measure it? How do we decide what’s more positive, and less positive, Idriss?’

A black cat came to stand near us, arching its back.

Hello, Midnight. How did you get here?

The cat jumped into my lap, tested or punished my patience with claws, and sat down to sleep.

‘There are two ways of looking at us,’ Idriss said, glancing out at the trees, throbbing with birds. ‘One says that we are just a cosmic accident, a fluke, and the lucky survivors of the real masters of the earth, the dinosaurs, after the fall of the Jurassic. That view says we’re all alone, because a fluke like this is unlikely anywhere else. And that we live in a universe that has us, and billions of planets with nothing more than microbes, meek little methanogens, archaea and bacteria, inheriting alkaline seas.’

A dragonfly buzzed around him for a while. He coaxed it with an extended hand, muttering to himself. He pointed his finger at the forest, and the dragonfly flew away.

‘The other view,’ Idriss said, turning to me again, ‘says that we’re everywhere, in every galaxy, and here in this galaxy, in our solar system, about two-thirds of the way out from all the action at the Milky Way’s hub, we’re the lucky ones, where evolution happened to achieve it locally. Which explanation is more plausible, do you think?’

What did I think? I dragged myself back to the bridge of ideas.

‘My money’s on the latter. If it happened here, it’s likely to be somewhere else, as well.’

‘Precisely. It’s likely that we’re not alone. And if the universe produces us, and creatures like us, when the soup is cooked just right, then the set of positive characteristics becomes tremendously significant.’

‘For us?’

‘For us, and in themselves.’

‘Are we talking about essential and contingent distinctions?’

He laughed.

‘Where did you study?’ he asked, looking me over, as if for the first time.

‘Here, at the moment.’

‘Good,’ he smiled. ‘Good. There is no distinction between the two. Everything is contingent, and essential, at the same time.’

‘I don’t follow you, I’m sorry.’

‘Let’s take a short cut,’ he said, leaning in close again, ‘because I’m dispensing with the Socratic-Freudian-question-with-a-question-bullshit. Khaderbhai loved that, may he be at peace, but I prefer to get it off my chest, and argue it out afterwards. Is that okay with you?’

‘Ah . . . yes. Sure. Please, go ahead.’

‘Very well, here it is. I believe that every atom in existence has a set of characteristics, given to it by light at the instant of the Big Bang. Among those characteristics is the set of positive characteristics. Everything that exists, in the form of atoms, has the set of positive characteristics.’

‘Everything?’

‘Why do you say such a doubtful thing?’

‘Doubtful, or doubting, Idriss?’

He leaned forward in his chair, and reached for the chillum.

‘Do you doubt yourself, as well?’

Did I? Of course, I did. I’d fallen: I was one of the fallen.

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

‘At the moment, because I’m not paying for something I did.’

‘And that troubles you?’

‘Very much. I only made a down payment so far. I’ll have to pay the rest sooner or later, one way or another, and probably with interest.’

‘Maybe you’re already paying for it now, and you don’t know it.’

He was smiling, and sending gentle calm toward me.

‘Maybe I am,’ I said. ‘But not enough, I think.’

‘Fascinating,’ he said, holding out the chillum for me to light. ‘How do you get on with your father?’

‘I love my stepfather. He’s kind, and brilliant. He’s one of the finest human beings I’ve ever known. I’ve betrayed him, with my life. I’ve betrayed his integrity with what I’ve become.’

I didn’t know why I’d said it, or how the words had spilled from an urn of shame. I’d closed a steel door on the hurt I’d caused that fine man. Some things we do to others kneel so long in our hearts that bone becomes stone: a scarecrow in a chapel.

‘Sorry, Idriss. I got emotional.’

‘Excellent,’ Idriss said softly. ‘Have a smoke.’

He passed me the chillum. I smoked, and settled down.

‘Okay,’ Idriss said, leaning back and tucking his feet under his calves, ‘let’s wrap this up before some nice, sweet fellow comes along, with some girlfriend problem that I have to listen to. What’s the matter with these young people? Don’t they know it’s supposed to be problematic? Are you ready?’

‘Please,’ I said, not ready at all, ‘go ahead.’