The Mountain Shadow

‘No reason? When I explained that such an oversight is quite impossible, because my name appears on every list, from Interpol to the Bombay Cricket Club, even though I abhor the game of cricket, he actually tried to shut the door in my face.’

‘Can I suggest, Didier, that you let go of his face?’

‘Oh, Lin!’ Didier protested, squeezing the man’s nose harder in his closed fist.

The major-domo squealed.

‘He’s only doing his job, Didier.’

‘It is his job to welcome me, Lin, not to exclude me.’

‘I quit this job!’ the major-domo quacked.

‘Another thing,’ I tried, ‘is that you don’t know where that nose you’re squeezing has been.’

‘You’re right,’ Didier agreed, his lip curling in distaste as he released the major-domo’s nose. ‘Where can I wash my hands?’

‘Through there,’ Scorpio said, nodding through the doorway. ‘Second door on the right.’

Didier glowered at the major-domo, and left the room. The major-domo looked at me. I have no idea why people look at me when I have absolutely nothing to do with anything.

‘Might be a good idea to put Didier on your short list, Scorpio,’ I said, reaching out to pick up a small bundle of notes from the pile of winnings in front of Gemini George.

‘But, Lin,’ Scorpio whined. ‘Didier grabbed my major-domo by the nose.’

‘You’re lucky it was only your man’s nose he got hold of.’

‘Damn right about that!’ Gemini laughed. ‘Singh! Put Mr Didier Levy on the short list, right away.’

‘I quit this job,’ Singh mumbled again, clutching at his nose.

‘That’s your right,’ I said, handing him the money I’d taken from the table. ‘But if you do, you’ll get drummed out of the Guild of Major-Domos. If you’ll accept our sincere apology, on behalf of our friend, and this money for your trouble, we can put this behind us.’

The man held his nose with one hand, fondled the notes with the other, and then wagged his head, moving back to his position near the door.

‘Are you sure it’s major-domos?’ Gemini asked mischievously. ‘Isn’t it majors-domo?’

‘Say, Lin,’ Scorpio remarked, brightening suddenly. ‘D’ya think . . . maybe . . . you could stay on with us here for a while? We got plenty of room. We’re thinking of taking the whole floor, and you’d be a real help in getting the hang of this being rich thing.’

‘Great idea,’ Gemini agreed. ‘Stay here, Lin. Ask Lisa to move in, too. Liven up the place.’

‘Nice offer, guys.’

‘Is that a no?’ Scorpio asked.

‘You’ve got Divya on the case,’ I said. ‘From what I can see, she’s doing a pretty good job.’

‘She scares the crap outta me,’ Scorpio complained.

‘Everyone scares the crap outta you,’ Gemini commented. ‘That’s one of the reasons why we love you. What are you doin’ here, anyway, Scorp? You never come in here. You hate poker.’

‘I don’t hate poker.’

‘Okay then, Maverick, what’s up?’

‘It’s serious.’

‘It can’t be more serious than the next hand, Scorp. Lin just gave away all my winnings to your majors-domo, because Didier pulled his nose.’

‘Quite rightly,’ Didier added, rejoining us.

‘Can’t argue there,’ Gemini agreed. ‘I’ve wanted to do it myself, occasionally, but I thought Singh would hit me. Now, gentlemen, I intend to win back all me previous winnings, so let’s play.’

‘I mean it, Gemini,’ Scorpio said. ‘It’s serious stuff.’

‘I’m playin’ against Didier. He’s a shark. He’ll gut me, if I so much as wink. How can it be more serious than that, Scorpio?’

‘I wanted to talk to you about the new security arrangements.’

‘The what?’

‘The new security arrangements.’

‘It’s a five-star hotel,’ Gemini replied. ‘We’re safe as ’ouses, Scorp.’

‘No, we’re totally and completely unsafe,’ Scorpio said. ‘A kidnapper could hide in a food trolley, or even disguise himself as a concierge. Then we’re finished. Everybody trusts the concierge. We’re vulnerable to attack here, Gemini.’

‘Attack? What are you, Scorp, an evil warlord?’

‘We’re vulnerable. I mean it, Gemini.’

‘Well, if it’s so important, get it off your chest, then. Go on.’

‘But . . . I can’t talk about security in front of other people.’

‘Why not?’

‘It wouldn’t be . . . secure.’

‘Don’t we want our friends to be secure, too?’

‘But there are employees of the hotel here.’

‘And if our bein’ ’ere poses some kind of risk to them,’ Gemini said, shuffling the cards, ‘wouldn’t it be fair to include the ’otel employees in our security arrangements, especially the ones gambling with me, so that they can stay safe, too?’

‘What?’ Scorpio said, shaking his head.

Didier cut the deck, and Gemini paused, the cards in his hand.

‘How about this, Scorpio,’ he said, smiling at the friend he loved more than anyone or anything in the world. ‘Let’s just invite all of our friends and all their families to live ’ere with us. Everybody. We’ll rent three floors of the ’otel, bring in everyone, and all their families, to stay for as long as they like, and shower them with generosity and happy fun, and spend lots and lots of money at the ’otel, so they’re ’appy, and we’ll be safe. See? That’s your new security arrangement, right there, innit?’