The Mountain Shadow

‘Look what the grimalkin dragged in,’ he said. ‘I hope you’ve come to join my little gang, boyo. I’m not in a mood for disappointing drugs, or disappointing men.’

Ignoring him, I went to Vikram’s side. Billy Bhasu crab-walked out of the way, and continued preparing the chillum. I pushed at Vikram to rouse him.

‘Vikram! Vik! Wake up, man!’

His eyes opened slowly, and then fell shut.

‘Last chance, Shantaram,’ Concannon said softly. ‘Are you with me, or against me?’

I shook Vikram again.

‘Wake up, Vik. We’re going, man.’

‘Leave him alone,’ Concannon chided. ‘Can’t you see the man’s happy?’

‘It’s not happiness, if you can’t feel it.’

I shook Vikram’s shoulder again.

‘Vikram! Wake up!’

He opened his eyes, looked at me, and smiled a sloppy grin.

‘Lin! How are you, man?’

‘How are you, man?’

‘Nothing to worry,’ he replied sleepily, his eyes drooping and closing. ‘It’s all cool, man. It’s all . . . cool . . . ’

He began to snore. His face was dirty. He was a shrinking form inside the clothes of a healthier man.

‘Vik! Wake up, man!’

‘Leave him the fuck alone,’ Concannon said aggressively.

‘Mind your own business, Concannon,’ I said, not looking at him.

‘Why don’t you make me?’

It’s childish, and we all know it, but it often works.

‘Why don’t I?’ I replied, facing him for the first time.

I could just make out the cold fire in his ice-blue eyes.

‘How about this?’ I suggested. ‘I’ll take my friend home to his parents, and then I’ll come back here, and we’ll meet outside. Sound okay?’

He stood up and approached me, standing close.

‘There’s two things that I hold sacred. A man’s right to crush his enemies, and a man’s right to destroy himself in any way he sees fit. We’re all goin’ down. All of us. We’re all on the same road. Vikram’s just a little way further down the road than you and me, that’s all. That’s his natural born right. And you’re not stoppin’ him.’

It was an angry speech, and every word became just a little angrier.

‘Rights have duties,’ I answered him, staring back into the fury. ‘A friend has a duty to help a friend.’

‘I don’t have any friends,’ he said evenly. ‘Nobody does. There’s no such thing. Friendship’s a fairy story, like Father fuckin’ Christmas. And what kind of a cunt did that fat bastard turn out to be? A fuckin’ lie, that’s what he is. There are no friends in this world. There’s allies and there’s enemies in this life, and any one of them can change their coat as soon as look at you. That’s the truth of it.’

‘I’m gonna take Vikram outta here.’

‘The fuck you are!’

He watched me for a moment, for five heartbeats, and slid his right foot backwards on the floor, shaping up for a fight. Not wanting to be caught flat-footed, I did the same. His hands slowly rose, stopping opposite his face, left fist forward. I raised my hands in response, my heart beating hard.

Stupid. Men. We were going to fight, for nothing. You can’t fight for anything, of course: you can only fight against something. If you’re fighting, the part of you that was for something has already been forgotten, replaced by a part that’s violently against something. And in that minute, I was violently against Concannon.

‘One Man Show!’ the One Man Show said suddenly.

‘Shut the fuck up,’ Concannon growled.

‘Guys!’ Dennis said from the bed, his eyes still closed. ‘My high! You’re killing my high!’

‘Go back to sleep, Dennis lad,’ Concannon said, watching my face. ‘This won’t take but a minute or two.’

‘Please, guys,’ Dennis pleaded, in his soft, sonorous voice. ‘Concannon! Come over here, at once, my wild son. Come and smoke a legendary chillum with me. Help me get my high back, man. And Lin, take Vikram with you. He’s been here for a week. Unlike the rest of us in this happy little tomb, he actually has a family to go back to. Take him with you.’

Concannon slowly let his fists fall to his sides.

‘Whatever you say, Dennis, me old reprobate,’ he grinned. ‘It’s no skin off my nose.’

He went to sit beside Dennis on the huge bed.

‘Concannon,’ Dennis said, his eyes beginning to close again. ‘You’re the most alive human being I ever met. I can feel your energy, even when I’m dead. And that’s why I love you. But you’re killing my high.’

‘Settle down, Dennis me darlin’,’ Concannon said, his hand on Dennis’s shoulder. ‘There’ll be no more trouble.’

I roused Vikram quickly, and forced him to stand. As we reached the doors, Concannon spoke again.

‘I won’t forget this, Shantaram,’ he said, his teeth showing in a furious grin.

I took Vikram home in a taxi. He spoke only once.

‘She was a great chick,’ he said, as if to himself. ‘She really was. If she loved me, as much as I love her, she’d be perfect, you know what I mean?’

I helped his sister put him to bed, drank three cups of tea with his worried parents, and then took a taxi back to my parked bike.