The Mousetrap

KAY. Oh, yes, I daresay it’s quite natural. They’re devoted to Audrey, aren’t they? (She turns and looks towards the door L.) Dear, well bred, cool, colorless Audrey. Camilla has never forgiven me for taking Audrey’s place. (She turns, moves above the armchair L. C. and leans on the back of it.) I’ll tell you something—Audrey gives me the creeps. You never know what she’s thinking.

NEVILE. (Sitting on the chaise.) Oh, nonsense, Kay, don’t be absurd.

KAY. Audrey’s never forgiven you for marrying me. Once or twice I’ve seen her looking at you—and the way she looked at you frightened me.

NEVILE. You’re prejudiced, Kay. Audrey’s been charming. No one could have been nicer.

KAY. It seems like that, but it isn’t true. There’s something behind it all. (She runs above the chaise to R. of Nevile and kneels beside him.) Let’s go away—at once—before it’s too late.

NEVILE. Don’t be melodramatic. I’m not going to upset old Camilla just because you work yourself up into a state about nothing at all.

KAY. It isn’t nothing at all. I don’t think you know the first thing about your precious Audrey. (Lady Tressilian and Treves enter by the French windows.)

NEVILE. (Furiously.) She isn’t my—precious Audrey. (Lady Tressilian moves above the chaise.)

KAY. Isn’t she? Anyone would think so, the way you follow her about. (She sees Lady Tressilian.)

LADYTRESSILIAN. Are you going down to bathe, Kay?

KAY. (Rising, nervously.) Yes—yes, I was.

LADYTRESSILIAN. Almost high tide. It ought to be very pleasant. (She knocks her stick against the leg of the chaise.) What about you, Nevile?

NEVILE. (Sulkily.) I don’t want to bathe.

LADYTRESSILIAN. (To Kay.) Your friend, I think, is down there waiting for you. (Kay hesitates a moment, then crosses and exits by the French window. Treves moves downR.) Nevile, you’re behaving very badly. You really must stand up when I come into the room. What’s the matter with you—forgetting your manners?

NEVILE. (Rising quickly.) I’m sorry.

LADYTRESSILIAN. (Crossing to the armchairL. C.) You’re making us all very uncomfortable. I don’t wonder your wife is annoyed.

NEVILE. My wife? Audrey?

LADYTRESSILIAN. Kay is your wife now.

NEVILE. With your High Church principles I wonder you admit the fact.

LADYTRESSILIAN. (Sitting in the armchairL. C.) Nevile, you are exceedingly rude. (Nevile crosses toR. of Lady Tressilian, takes her hand and kisses her on the cheek.)

NEVILE. (With sudden disarming charm.) I’m very sorry, Camilla. Please forgive me. I’m so worried I don’t know what I’m saying. (Treves sits in the easy chair down R.)

LADYTRESSILIAN. (With affection.) My dear boy, what else could you expect with this stupid idea of being all friends together?

NEVILE. (Wistfully.) It still seems to me the sensible way to look at things.

LADYTRESSILIAN. Not with two women like Audrey and Kay.

NEVILE. Audrey doesn’t seem to care.

TREVES. How did the matter first come up, Nevile? (Nevile withdraws his hand from Lady Tressilian’s and moves downL. of the chaise.)

NEVILE. (Eagerly.) Well, I happened to run across Audrey in London, quite by chance, and she was awfully nice about things—didn’t seem to bear any malice or anything like that. While I was talking to her the idea came to me how sensible it would be if—if she and Kay could be friends—if we could all get together. And it seemed to me that this was the place where it could happen quite naturally.

TREVES. You thought of that—all by yourself?

NEVILE. Oh, yes, it was all my idea. And Audrey seemed quite pleased and ready to try.

TREVES. Was Kay equally pleased?

NEVILE. Well—no—I had a spot of bother with Kay. I can’t think why. I mean if anyone was going to object, you’d think it would be Audrey.

LADYTRESSILIAN. (Rising.) Well, I’m an old woman. (Treves rises.) Nothing people do nowadays seems to make any sense. (She moves to the door L.)