The Mousetrap

LESTER. (givingKARLa rather shifty glance) Well, you see, my mother’s been ill lately and . . . (He breaks off and moves away from KARL down C) No, I won’t tell you any more lies. I wanted it—you see, there was a girl. I wanted to take her out, and . . .

KARLsuddenly smiles atLESTERand crosses below the armchair toLof him.

KARL. Ah! You wanted it to spend on a girl. I see. Good. Very good—very good, indeed.

LESTER. Good? But . . .

KARL. So natural. Oh, yes, it was very wrong of you to steal my book and to sell it and to lie to me about it. But if you have to do bad things I am glad that you do them for a good motive. And at your age there is no better motive than that—to go out with a girl and enjoy yourself. (He pats LESTER on the shoulder) She is pretty, your girl?

LESTER. (self-consciously) Well, naturally, I think so. (He gains confidence) Actually, she’s pretty marvellous.

KARL. (with a knowing chuckle) And you had a good time on the two pounds?

LESTER. In a way. Well, I mean, I began by enjoying it awfully. But—but I did feel rather uncomfortable.

KARL. (sitting on the right arm of the armchair) You felt uncomfortable—yes, that’s interesting.

LESTER. Do believe me, sir, I am terribly sorry and ashamed, and it won’t happen again. And I’ll tell you this, too, I’m going to save up and buy that book back and bring it back to you.

KARL. (gravely) Then you shall do so if you can. Now, cheer up—that’s all over and forgotten.

LESTERthrowsKARLa grateful glance and exits by the hall toR. LISAcomes slowly forward towardsKARL.

(He nods his head) I’m glad he came and told me about it himself. I hoped he would, but of course I wasn’t at all sure.

LISA. (movingRC) You knew, then, that he’d stolen it?

KARL. Of course I knew.

LISA. (puzzled) But you didn’t let him know that you knew.

KARL. No.

LISA. Why?

KARL. Because, as I say, I hoped he would tell me about it himself.

LISA. (after a pause) Was it a valuable book?

KARL. (rising and moving to the desk) Actually, it’s quite irreplaceable.

LISA. (turning away) Oh, Karl.

KARL. Poor devil—so pleased to have got two pounds for it. The dealer who bought it off him will probably have sold it for forty or fifty pounds by now.

LISA. So he won’t be able to buy it back?

KARL. (sitting at the desk) No.

LISA. (crossing toRof the armchair) I don’t understand you, Karl. (She begins to lose her temper) It seems to me sometimes you go out of your way to let yourself be played upon—you allow yourself to have things stolen from you, to be deceived . . .

KARL. (gently but amused) But, Lisa, I wasn’t deceived.

LISA. Well, that makes it worse. Stealing is stealing. The way you go on positively encourages people to steal.

KARL. (becoming thoughtful) Does it? I wonder. I wonder.

LISAis very angry now and starts pacing below the sofa and back upC.

LISA. How angry you make me.

KARL. I know. I always make you angry.

LISA. (moving upR) That miserable boy . . .

KARL. (rising and standing upLC) That miserable boy has the makings of a very fine scholar—a really fine scholar. That’s rare, you know, Lisa. That’s very rare. There are so many of these boys and girls, earnest, wanting to learn, but not the real thing.

LISAsits on left arm of the sofa.

(He moves to L. of LISA) But Lester Cole is the real stuff of which scholars are made.

LISAhas calmed down by now and she puts her arm affectionately onKARL’s arm.

(He smiles ruefully. After a pause) You’ve no idea of the difference one Lester Cole makes to a weary professor’s life.

LISA. I can understand that. There is so much mediocrity.

KARL. Mediocrity and worse. (He givesLISAa cigarette, lights it, then sitsCof the sofa) I’m willing to spend time on the conscientious plodder, even if he isn’t very bright, but the people who want to acquire learning as a form of intellectual snobbery, to try it on as you try on a piece of jewellery, who want just a smattering and only a smattering, and who ask for their food to be pre-digested, that I won’t stand for. I turned one of them down today.