The Mousetrap

LENNOX. I couldn’t do it, though, could I? I mean—where should I go? How should I live?

MRS. BOYNTON. I’m afraid you could never support yourself, my poor boy.

(LENNOX moves to Left of the table. His manner is now definitely odd.)

LENNOX. It’s you who are stopping me, isn’t it? Can’t you let me go? Please let me go.

MRS. BOYNTON. You can’t go. (She watches him closely.) You can’t go, Lennox. You’re no good. I’m afraid you’re going to be very unhappy.

LENNOX. (Muttering) Unhappy. (He sits Left of the table, his foot stepping on the bottle dropped byRAYMOND.)

MRS. BOYNTON. Pick that up.

(LENNOX picks up the bottle and stares at it.)

It will be very quiet without Nadine—very quiet and very lonely.

LENNOX. There’s something I could do—if I could only remember. (He rises and looks at the bottle.) Something quite easy. (He looks suddenly at MRS. BOYNTON.) Are you my enemy?

MRS. BOYNTON. What a very odd thing to say, dear boy.

(Voices are heard off Right.)

Give me that bottle, it belongs in here.

(LENNOX hands the bottle to MRS. BOYNTON, then exits to the marquee. MRS. BOYNTON looks at the bottle and puts it on the table. HIGGS enters Right. MISS PRYCE follows him on, catches her scarf on something and is held.)

MISSPRYCE. Oh dear.

HIGGS. Are ye fast? I mean, are yer stuck? (He moves toMISSPRYCEand detaches her.)

MISSPRYCE. Thank you so much. I’m quite loose now. (She moves Right Centre.)

(LADY WESTHOLME enters Right.)

LADYWESTHOLME. Now where is Mahommed? (She crosses to the marquee.) That man is never about when one wants him.

(LADY WESTHOLME exits to the marquee.)

HIGGS. (Crossing to Centre) What is that lad’s name? Mahommed or Abraham?

MISSPRYCE. Lady Westholme says she always calls her dragoman Mahommed.

HIGGS. What, even when it isn’t ’is name?

MISSPRYCE. Apparently.

HIGGS. Well! I wonder they stand for it. Ah wouldn’t.

MISSPRYCE. But then you’re such a masterful man, Mr. Higgs.

HIGGS. Ay. Ah know my rights and I stands oop for ’em.

MISSPRYCE. I can see that.

HIGGS. And them as doan’t is neither fish, flesh, fowl, nor good red ’errin’.

MISSPRYCE. And he’s such a nice man—and so clean. (Confidentially) He changes his shirt every day.

HIGGS. ’E needs to in this climate. Eh, I wasn’t ’alf in a muck sweat meself this morning.

MISSPRYCE. (Reprovingly) Mr. Higgs!

HIGGS. Ah doan’t ’old much with foreigners. I shared a cabin with one comin’ over and one mornin’ I caught ’im usin’ my toothbrush.

MISSPRYCE. How revolting.

HIGGS. And d’yer know what ’e said? He said, “Ah thought it was a ship’s toothbrush—for us all like.” (He laughs uproariously.)

(MISS PRYCE winces.)

LADYWESTHOLME. (Off; calling) Mahommed.

HIGGS. (Calling) P’raps ’e’s oop on second floor, Lady Breastbone.

(LADY WESTHOLME appears at the entrance to the marquee.)

LADYWESTHOLME. (Furiously) What did you say, Mr. Higgs?

HIGGS. Ah said p’raps ’e’s oop on second floor, Lady Fishbone.

LADYWESTHOLME. You may find out to your cost, my good man, that my name is Westholme.

HIGGS. Ay. An’ ’is isn’t Mahommed.

(LADY WESTHOLME flounces back into the marquee and is heard again calling defiantly.)

LADYWESTHOLME. (Off; calling) Ma-hom-med.

HIGGS. (Chuckling) Eh! That’s a grand voice for electioneering. She wouldn’t need loudspeaker van.

MISSPRYCE. You know, I think all the servants must be asleep.

LADYWESTHOLME. (Off; calling) Mahommed.

HIGGS. (Chuckling) Not after that.

MISSPRYCE. (Getting confidential again) I do hope we’re safe here. Those servants look so wild and fierce. Suppose they were to murder us all one night.

HIGGS. Ah could understand ’em murderin’ ’er ladyship—but what ’ave we done?

MISSPRYCE. They might rob us.