The Mousetrap

SIRHENRY. (Turning) Midge! (He moves to Right of her, takes the suitcase from her, and kisses her.) Nice to see you.

MIDGE. Nice to see you.

SIRHENRY. How are you?

MIDGE. Terribly well.

SIRHENRY. Not been overworking you in that damned dress shop of yours?

MIDGE. (Moving down Centre) Business is pretty slack at the moment, or I shouldn’t have got the weekend off. The bus was absolutely crowded; I’ve never known it go so slowly. (She sits on the sofa, puts her bag and gloves beside her and looks towards the window Right.) It’s heaven to be here. Who’s coming this weekend?

SIRHENRY. (Putting the suitcase on the floor Right of the armchair Left Centre) Nobody much. The Cristows. You know them, of course.

MIDGE. The Harley Street doctor with a rather dim wife?

SIRHENRY. That’s right. Nobody else. Oh yes—(He strikes a match) Edward, of course.

MIDGE. (Turning to faceSIRHENRY; suddenly stricken by the sound of the name) Edward!

SIRHENRY. (Lighting his pipe) Quite a job to get Edward away from Ainswick these days.

MIDGE. (Rising) Ainswick! Lovely, lovely Ainswick! (She crosses to the fireplace and gazes up at the picture above it.)

SIRHENRY. (Moving down Centre) Yes, it’s a beautiful place.

MIDGE. (Feelingly) It’s the most beautiful place in the world.

SIRHENRY. (Putting the matchbox on the coffee table) Had some happy times there, eh? (He eases to Right of the armchair Left Centre.)

MIDGE. (Turning) All the happy times I’ve ever had were there.

(LADY ANGKATELL enters Right. She carries a large empty flowerpot.)

LADYANGKATELL. (As she enters) Would you believe it, (She crosses above the sofa to Right ofSIRHENRY) they’ve been at it again. They’ve pushed up a whole row of lovely little lobelias. Ah well, as long as the weather keeps fine . . .

SIRHENRY. Here’s Midge.

LADYANGKATELL. Where? (She crosses toMIDGEand kisses her.) Oh, darling Midge, I didn’t see you, dear. (To SIR HENRY. Confidentially) That would help, wouldn’t it? What were you both doing when I came in?

SIRHENRY. Talking Ainswick.

LADYANGKATELL. (Sitting in the armchair Left Centre; with a sudden change of manner) Ainswick!

SIRHENRY. (PattingLADYANGKATELL’s shoulder) There, there, Lucy.

(A little disturbed, he crosses and exits Left.)

MIDGE. (Indicating the flowerpot; surprised) Now why did you bring that in here, darling?

LADYANGKATELL. I can’t begin to think. Take it away.

(MIDGE takes the flowerpot from LADY ANGKATELL, crosses, goes on to the terrace up Centre and puts the flowerpot on the ground out of sight.)

Thank you, darling. As I was saying, at any rate the weather’s all right. That’s something. Because if a lot of discordant personalities are boxed up indoors . . . (She looks around.) Where are you?

(MIDGE moves to Right of the armchair Left Centre.)

Ah, there you are. It makes things ten times worse. Don’t you agree?

MIDGE. Makes what worse?

LADYANGKATELL. One can play games, of course—but that would be like last year when I shall never forgive myself about poor Gerda—and the worst of it is that she really is so nice. It’s odd that anyone as nice as Gerda should be so devoid of any kind of intelligence. If that is what they mean by the law of compensation I don’t think it’s at all fair.

MIDGE. What are you talking about, Lucy?

LADYANGKATELL. This weekend, darling. (She takes hold ofMIDGE’s left hand.) It’s such a relief to talk it over with you, Midge dear, you’re so practical.

MIDGE. Yes, but what are we talking over?

LADYANGKATELL. John, of course, is delightful, with that dynamic personality that all really successful doctors seem to have. But as for Gerda, ah well, we must all be very, very kind.