The n-Body Problem

Paul walks by and brings the fire back to life with thin logs. He sits and stares into the fire. He looks over his shoulder then directly at me. His voice is low and nasty.

“I’m gonna pretend you’re not here for now. And if that changes, if I have to think about you, then I will drop you in this stove. I promise.”

I nod. I want that. Pretend I’m not here. He stands and kicks dirty punk wood in my face.

“I think you’re an actual fucking maggot.”

He spits on my body.

“Paul!”

Paul steps back with his hands up.

“Okay. Okay. Sorry. I get it.”

Holly wipes the bits from my face and rubs with spit. I can tell the way she touches me that deep down she agrees with her brothers.

They move in another room. They are in Tildy’s room. I hear a bang. Another. They are moving Tildy’s furniture. No. They’re moving Tildy.

Don’t touch her! Leave her! Cold air and ash swoop into the room. No! I want to go with her! I want to die with her! Put me outside with Tildy! I clench my sides and spring. I shoot myself from the cushion and hit the floor. Air pops out of my lung or lungs and I struggle to return it.

I hear a scream. I snap my head around to see Holly’s boot coming at me. She kicks my throat and screams again. I try to call out but only manage a bark. The boys move in and wind up to kick. One raises a heavy log. I recoil and move on the muscled points at my shoulders. I am soon under the couch. I use the floor and the couch bottom against my muscles and move quickly to the back. A hand appears then reaches in. I thrust my head forward and bite down hard on the hand. I taste blood. My mouth fills with it. They are screaming. They are cursing and crying. I will cut you. I will bite you. I roll back and find a groove in the wood floor at the wall. I drop into it and tighten my muscles. A poker is thrust in and it pokes my chest hard.

“Did you get it? Did you get it?”

I lay still. A face peers cautiously under the couch. I watch through half-closed eyes.

“I think so.”

Holly is crying.

I wiggle along the groove and draw myself to the wall behind the stove. Too hot. Too hot.

“Well, let’s make sure. Pull the couch back. I want this thing in the fuckin’ fire.”

I roll quickly under the stove. My hair crackles and singes. I come out into the middle of the room. Holly and the boys are busy stabbing the couch with the poker. I move by, drawing my back end up under and pushing forward. I reach the kitchen and spot the door under the sink. It’s open. I wiggle through and push the bottles of ancient cleaning liquids aside. They’ll see me here. I manage to cram myself into a space between the wall and a box. I stop and listen.

“It’s gone!”

“Gone!”

The shrieking begins again.

“Look for it! Find it!”

Things are crashing around in the room. Furniture overturned. Cushions tossed into corners.

“It’s not in here!”

“Fuck! Fuck!”

“What do we do?”

“Keep looking!”

“Check the bedroom! Check the kitchen!”

“Hurry! I’m not stayin’ in here with that thing!”

They ransack rooms. I push myself hard into the corner, trying to compact my bundled body. I put my face into a spider web. A nest. A thin light cuts in through a crack and I see hundreds of red dots fan across the shroud of silk. I blow into it and the web’s upper canopy drifts across my face. The baby spiders trek on my skin. It feels as if my skin is hallucinating. I blow and snort frantically. They have heard me. I am found. Something stabs into my side and I squawk. I spring from the cupboard. I am going to be wild. I am going to scare them to death. I shoot, shrieking into a boy’s ankle and bite so completely that my teeth stop deep in bone. Then I twist like a corkscrew. He yells but I am louder. A foot kicks my side and I use the bounce against the wall to fly up. I catch a hand in my teeth and fall with fingers in my throat. A shadow rises but I am too fast. I throw myself upright and spring. I smash a throat and shake my face like a buzz saw. A hand grabs my middle and I attack the wrist. I’m on the ground. I am a poisonous pig. I am a devil stomach.