The pool of St Branok

I knew then that he had not changed. I had nothing to fear from him. But I knew, too, that I could no longer bear the burden of my secret.

I just lay there silently; now and then shaken by a sob. He held me tightly.

"It's all right, Angelet," he said. "What are you afraid of? There is nothing to fear. I promise you that. Tell me what it is that worried you."

I buried my face against him and I heard myself say: "It was what happened at the pool."

"At the pool?"

"It's so long ago ... but it still seems clear to me. It always has been like that. It goes away and then it comes back. It comes back so suddenly. It will always be like that."

"What? Tell me."

I took a deep breath. Then it came out: "There was a man who escaped from Bodmin Prison. There was a great deal of talk about him ... pictures of him. I was alone by the pool. I had tied up my horse, Glory ... I went down to look at the pool ... and he was there. He talked for a while. I thought he was a visitor who wanted to know the way ... and then suddenly he changed." I was shivering now. It was all coming back so clearly. "He looked at me ... he put out his hands and seized me."

"Oh my God," said Gervaise.

"I knew what he would do to me ... what he had done to that girl he murdered. I fought him. But I was only a child and he ..."

I could feel the horror rising in Gervaise. It was like a physical thing.

"Someone came ... and saved me. He fought with the murderer ... who fell and caught his head on a stone. I remember the stone. It was part of that wall you found when you came down to dig."

"I know ... I remember."

"It killed him. We threw his body in the pool. They all thought he had escaped. But he didn't. He is lying at the bottom of the pool ... where we put him."

He did not speak. I knew he was too shocked. He just held me tightly, then he murmured my name and called me his little love, his darling.

"You see, Gervaise, I never told anyone ... You are the first ..."

"I'm glad you told me," he said.

"I had to. I had to make you understand."

"I understand," he said.

There was a silence and then I said: "What are you thinking of, Gervaise?"

"I am thinking of it. I can't stop thinking of it."

"It was terrible. It had all happened so quickly. Everything before had been easy ... simple ... and after that ..."

"Of course, of course."

"We shouldn't have done it, should we? But you see he was fighting with Ben."

"Ben?"

"Benedict. We called him Ben. He said that the man would have been hanged for murder and that was an easy way out for him. I don't think Ben felt it as much as I did."

"Well, he wouldn't. He wasn't nearly assaulted and murdered."

"No."

"You mustn't shiver like this. I am going to send for some brandy. It'll steady you. It'll soothe you. My poor, poor Angelet, and you have had this on your mind ever since!"

He went to the bell rope and pulled it. Then he came back to me and put his arms about me.

"I'm glad you told me," he said. "And all that time you kept it to yourself."

I nodded. "I'm glad you know. I nearly told my mother once or twice ... but I didn't. There are only two of us who know ... Ben and myself ... and now you, of course."

He kissed me tenderly.

There was a knock on the door. It was a waiter. Gervaise ordered the brandy and came back to me.

He said: "Where is Ben now?"

"He's in Australia. He went there to find gold."

"And you have not heard from him all these years?"

"I expect Uncle Peter hears from him now and then."

"My dear, dear Angelet, how old were you when this happened?"

"Ten ... I think."

"My poor child."

"Gervaise, were we wrong? What should we have done? You see, we didn't know what to do. He was lying there dead."

"Perhaps you could have told people what had happened."

"But Ben said they would say we killed him. You didn't know about my grandfather. He was sent to Australia for seven years for killing a man. It was in more or less the same circumstances. He was with some gypsies and a man tried to assault one of the girls. My grandfather fought with him and killed him. He would have been hanged for murder if my grandmother had not had an influential father."

"Surely this was different."

There was a knock on the door. The brandy had arrived.

"Drink this," said Gervaise. "It will soothe you. It'll make you feel better."

"I feel better now I have told you."

"I'm glad of that."

"I had to, hadn't I? Otherwise you would have thought I didn't love you. I do love you, Gervaise. I want everything to be right between us. It was just then ... that it all came back to me."

He put an arm round me as I sipped the brandy.

"You mustn't worry," he said. "It's all long ago. You've got to put it out of your mind."

I shivered. "Can you ever put such a thing out of your mind?"

"I think you will in time. You've taken a step towards it tonight. I'm here with you ... for the rest of our lives ... here to help you ... to care for you."

"That's a wonderful thought."

He took the glass from me and kissed me.