The pool of St Branok

"Not entirely. He has disappointed you. I can see that."

He had turned to me and I was in his arms. He kissed me wildly. I was so taken aback that I could not think clearly. All I knew was that I wanted to stay with him, close ... like this. I was accepting that which I had refused to face for some time ... ever since I had seen Ben again.

Gervaise had been good to me, a kind and tender husband. I had thought I was in love with him. I had been too young and inexperienced to know my true feelings. I had not really known Gervaise. I had only begun to on our honeymoon when I had first discovered his weakness—not only his obsession with gambling, but a certain amoral attitude to life which could allow him to go off without paying the money he owed to people who trusted him, and gambling with money which was not really his.

I was closely bound to Ben. I always should be because of what we had endured together. I began to think about what might have been but for that man in the pool. It all came back to that. I had thought of it ever since it happened as the most momentous event in my life; and I saw now that it had certainly been so. But for it everything would have been very different.

I withdrew myself.

"We must not meet like this, Ben," I said.

"We must," he replied, "often. I must have something of you, Angel."

"No," I said.

He looked at me intently and replied: "Yes."

"What good can it do?"

"It can make me happy for a while. You too perhaps."

I shook my head.

"You love me," he said. It was a statement rather than a question.

"Ben, I have not seen you for years ... and then I come out here ..."

"And you knew at once. Don't let's waste time denying the truth, Angel. Let's think what we can do."

"There is nothing. We shall go away from here. You will stay in your comfortable house until you have made that vast fortune. It will probably take years and years and then we shall both be old enough and wise enough to laugh at this folly."

"I don't see it that way."

"What else?"

"I never accept defeat."

"I can't imagine what you mean."

"I am in love with you and you with me. You are married to a nice decent man. He's a gambler. He's a loser, Angel. I know one when I see one. Your life with him will be a continual running away from creditors. You feel you can live with that now. It has brought you to this primitive society because you had to run away. Leave him now. I shall be waiting for you."

"You can't really mean that."

"What I mean is that we should not sit down meekly and accept what life deals out. You have married this man. I admit he has charm. He is gracious and courteous, the perfect English gentleman. But I will tell you what your life with him will be. I can see it clearly. I know men. He's a loser, I tell you. He's different from your friend Justin Cartwright."

"What do you mean?"

"He is a man who knows how to win."

"To win?"

"I've heard things. He has good luck at the table. Every time he plays he walks off with some winnings. He's more likely to make his fortune at the tables than in the mines."

"How do you know this?"

"They play at the saloon. Old Featherstone runs a profitable business with his saloon. He's one of those who has a way of making money and isn't winding up the windlasses either. There are all sorts of ways to fortune and your friend Justin is not too bad at one of them."

"Perhaps he'll want to go home. He is worried about Morwenna."

"I think that's likely. The London clubs would be more profitable than a township in the outback. Prospecting for gold by day and winning at the tables by night ... well, it's a pity for Gervaise's sake that a little of Justin's luck doesn't rub off on him. Angel, you've got to leave him. Tell him. If we talked to him and told him how things were he would understand. He is that sort."

"I think you are mad, Ben."

"Yes ... mad for you, Angel. I knew it would be like this between us as soon as you stepped off that ship. I thought of you often ... but as a little girl. I was attracted then ... I knew there was something between us ... and when I saw you again I was sure of it."

"We should not be talking like this."

"My dear Angel, you are not in your parents' drawing room now. Are you going to let life buffet you which way it wants to?"

"I am married to Gervaise. I love Gervaise. I will never leave him. He is a good man. He is kind and he has been good to me."

"You will always be at the mercy of his obsession with gambling. Believe me, I know. I have seen this sort of situation before. It mustn't happen to you, Angel."

"And you? Are you not obsessed? You vowed to make a fortune and you say you will not leave here until you do. Isn't that rather the same?"

"No. I am going to... . He never will."

"How do you know? He might strike gold tomorrow."

"Suppose he does? Suppose he goes home? I guarantee that he would lose the lot in a very short time. A couple of years ... perhaps three. That's the pattern of a gambler's life."

"I do not want to talk like this, Ben."