The Secret to Success

Not two months after the conversation, Tim kicked me out. Tim was a police officer, so he was hardly home. With no adult supervision, I reverted back to the old E.T. I had no interest in school so it was a challenge to get up every morning at 5:30 a.m. and getting dressed in time to catch the 6:30 a.m. bus. Some days I pretended I went to school. I got up, got dressed, and hung out in the hood until it was time to come home. I had far less discipline than I did when I lived in my parents’ house and my interest in school was hitting an all time low.

Principle 3: You can change environments, but until you change yourself nothing else will ever change.

I had the fresh start I dreamed of when I moved in with Tim. Somehow I thought that shifting addresses would magically change my situation. I ended up taking Tim for granted in much the same way I took my parents for granted. I never washed the dishes or cleaned up after myself. When Tim brought women home the house always smelled like trash and dirty dishes. I was being classic Eric Thomas. Same process—same exact outcome. I got kicked out my parent’s house; I got kicked out of Tim’s house.

Summary: Principles 1-3

•   Principle 1: Don’t make a habit out of choosing what feels good over what’s actually good for you.

•   Principle 2: Avoid being your own enemy.

•   Principle 3: You can change environments, but until you change yourself nothing else will ever change.

CHAPTER

5

Where Do I Start?

“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” - Carl Bard

As we go into the next few chapters, we’re going to talk about change for obvious reasons. If there is one lesson we can take away so far it’s that change doesn’t happen by osmosis. However, I want to demystify the concept of change. Too often I hear individuals speak about change as if it’s not something that can be attained and that it’s extremely complex. The truth is that change is simple, but it’s not easy. So let me be the first to encourage you. If I can do it, anybody can do it. But remember, the first thing we have to do is stop comparing change to some complex coordinates in the theory of atomic and molecular structure and dynamics. It’s not that deep. As a matter of fact, change is so simple that even a child can do it.

Principle 4: Learn to be curious.

Symbolically, when I look at change and think about the initial process, I think about the genie in the bottle story. The story begins with a scared, angry young man walking up and down the beach. While walking, he notices a beautiful golden bottle. His curiosity drives him to move closer. He bends down and picks up the bottle. Once in his grasp he begins to rub it. To his surprise, “BOOM!” the genie appears. “Thank you for setting me free. For thousands of years I have been trapped inside this bottle waiting to be released to share with someone the secrets to success. And to show you my appreciation, you may ask me for anything, and your wish is my command.”

Don’t miss the message. For many of us our change has been bottled up. I believe within every person is the capacity for change. Furthermore, I believe every individual at some point in his or her life has had multiple opportunities to change. The reality is, many of us do not recognize the need for change or understand the principles needed to create change in our lives. One group of individuals think that they do not need to change and that everybody else needs to change. The second group believes that change is connected to location. If only they could relocate. If only they could move to another city, state, or even country, life would be so much better. We will use the story of the genie to reveal some of the most vital secrets to unleashing the power of change in each of our lives.

Principle 5: Don’t be afraid to explore your curiosity.