The Secret to Success

Let’s do an exercise. If I told you I would give you 10 million dollars to jump out of a Boeing 757 aircraft with no parachute, what would you say? If you answered no, I am not mad at you. I would have given the same answer at one point in time. “Even though I could really use 10 million dollars right now, it does me no good if I’m dead.” But for those of you who answered no, you would be very disappointed when you found out that the aircraft was not 30, 000 feet above sea level. That’s right, the monstrous machine never left the ground and the jump down would be about 6 feet. Consider all factors before making a decision, ask as many questions as you can about the situation. I have learned over the years that the higher the level of emotion, the lower the level of reasoning. For example, if your emotions are at the highest level of 10, your ability to reason is at a 0. If it’s a 9 then your reasoning is a 1. I am not suggesting that emotions don’t have their place, but taking actions based purely on emotions is dangerous and could cost you everything.

Principle 2: Avoid being your own enemy.

What’s holding you back? You - not anyone else.

At age 13 Tim was like an older brother to me. He was responsible for helping me earn my “Street Credit.” The process was similar to what is known in the African culture as, rites of passage, or in the Jewish community as Bar Mitzvah. Once a male reached puberty on our block, he officially crossed over into a new world. The first couple years it was all about the bravado and the ladies. Tim stressed this one point, “Don’t ever be the person to start a fight, but you better damn sure finish it.” From that day on until I was about 14, Tim, his brother Wayne, and the rest of guys on the block beat the brakes off me until they felt I was capable of handling my own in a brawl. Of all the lessons Tim imparted on me, he was most proud that he personally schooled me on how to be a lady’s man. He gave me a full anatomy lecture, which included the extended version of the birds and the bees. In addition to the lecture, we watched a few “birds and the bees for dummies” demonstration videos. I think the first few demo videos were, Deep Throat and Debbie does Dallas.

I’m not sure why I didn’t think to call Tim when the whole thing first went down. I guess I was trying to work things out on my own. It didn’t take long before I realized I was in trouble and needed some help. I called Tim to see if I could stay with him until I got on my feet. “Tim, what up, it’s E.T. I know I haven’t hollered at you in a minute, but I am in a bind and I need you.” He didn’t hesitate, “What you need bro?’ “I need a place to lay my head for a while until I get on my feet.” “What happened? You and your father got into it again?” he said in a disappointed tone. “Yeah, but this time I am not going back, I can’t deal with that mess anymore!” “Where are you now, I am on my way.” Tim lived in his own two-bedroom apartment off Woodward Avenue in the Palmer Park area. Talk about a dream becoming a reality, it was the perfect scenario. Total freedom. I could come and go as I pleased and I wouldn’t have to worry about doing any chores. However, I think Tim envisioned things a bit differently. I remember our first conversation a few days after I moved in. Tim said, “Lil bro, you are a grown ass man now, so I am going to treat you like one. I am going to say this one time and one time only, if you handle your business everything between us will be fine, but if not....” He gave me the look. “Number one, you will finish school and you better not miss one day of school unless you are deathly ill. This is a no skipping zone. Two, I work and I don’t have time to run back and forth to your school because of your behavior. If you get in trouble, you are on your own. Three, I’ll pay the rent, I’ll pay the phone bill, I’ll pay the electricity, but E, I cannot feed you bro. You are going to have to get a part time job so you can take care of your own personal needs. Oh and I am going to need you to find somewhere else to crash from time to time. I can’t have you in the crib when I bring my chicks through. I know it’s a two bedroom, but it’s also a bachelor pad. When you see a red shoestring hanging on the door outside, come back in the morning so you can shower before school.”