The Secret to Success

Now that you are out of my life, I’m so much better, You thought that I’d be weak without ya’, But I’m stronger, You thought that I’d be broke without ya, But I’m richer, You thought that I’d be sad without ya’, I laugh harder, You thought I wouldn’t grow without ya’, Now I’m wiser, You thought that I’d be helpless without ya, But I’m smarter, You thought that I’d be stressed without ya’, But I’m chillin’ ---Destiny’s Child

As the sun started to set, I got nervous. Although this wasn’t my first time being away from home, it was the first time I left home and didn’t have a clue as to where I was going. The darker it got, the more unsettled I was. Somehow, the anger I felt from the situation that took place earlier between me and my parents vanished. Fear of the unknown had replaced the feelings of anger and any other emotion I had at that time. I felt overwhelmed every time I thought about where I was going to sleep and what I was going to eat. I got nauseous thinking about how long it might be before I had a normal life again. It began to hit me that I never thought the whole thing through. I let my emotions get the best of me. Just as the words, “I shouldn’t have” were coming out of my mouth, I heard my inner-voice say, “Humble yourself and go back home, apologize and deal with the consequences. If you go back, the punishment will be harsh but they will forgive you.” “I can’t, I can’t do it,” I kept repeating. I started scratching my head and rubbing my face to clear my thoughts. I couldn’t believe I allowed that thought to enter my mind. I decided from that point forward, no matter how terrified I was, no matter how lonely I was, no matter how hurt I was or how defeated I felt, I was not going back. I made a vow to myself that day, “Today I will live as a free man and never return home.”

From this point forward I had to take care of myself. I saw things like this on National Geographic. One day a cub sits by watching the mother lioness intensively staring down its prey, and at the prime moment, attacks, devours, and shares her kill with the cub. A few months later it’s a different situation entirely. The cub routinely follows his mother just as he had in the past. In the back of his mind he’s thinking, dinner will be served in a few short minutes. He watches his mother stare at her prey and wait for the opportunity to attack. Finally, she makes her move and begins to run at top speed. As she approaches her victim, she launches in the air onto the back of her prey and forces it to the ground. Once on the ground, the lioness cuts the victim’s throat with the nails from her claws. As the lioness begins to devour her kill, the young cub moves in closer and waits for his mother to rip off a healthy portion of meat to share, but to his surprise the lioness turns on him as if he were an enemy. In that moment, the cub realizes he must hunt his own prey if he is to eat again.

It was about 8:45pm—pitch-black, and reality was setting in. I was homeless. The whole day was like a blur and I was in a daze; it was as if I was paralyzed. Every time I thought about moving, the strangest thing happened: when I tried to walk, I was literally stuck. I said to myself, “Eric, you need to go someplace where it’s warm, someplace safe, but every time I tried to take a step forward nothing happened. I heard a voice whisper in my ear, “You messed up real bad this time. What are you going to do now, huh? You just going to sit there and do nothing, is that it?” “Every time you’re in a crunch, like a little punk, you freeze up. You wanted to be a grown man well you are grown now. Ain’t nobody going to bail you out this time!” As hard as it was to listen to those words, I knew they were real. Like the cub, I was on my own. Suddenly, I stood up tall, lifted my head, wiped the tears from my eyes, and cleared my thoughts. By this time it was a little past 9:30 pm, and there were a few things I knew for sure. The weekend was over and I had school the next day; I needed to decide where I was going to sleep and how I was going to eat.