The Secret to Success

I can’t put it into words, and I am not sure how I feel about the whole love at first sight concept. All I know is that whenever I was in the same room with her, I couldn’t stop staring at her. It was weird because I didn’t visit the church with the intent of trying to find someone to date. I was going through so much in my life that dating was the last thing on my mind. I was hoping that if I gave it a few weeks the feelings for her would pass, but something in my gut kept telling me I needed to get to know her. She had such a nurturing and caring spirit for someone so young. It took me a long time to introduce myself to her because of her mother. She reminded me of one of those secret service men who work in the White House protecting the President.

In addition to being scared of her mom, I was never the most suave guy when it came to the ladies. I never dated in middle school, and in high school I was never in a real relationship. After the first few weeks of attending church, I knew I had to take a chance. There was one problem, I didn’t know if she was dating someone or if she was allowed to date for that matter. I decided to hire Bob as my personal private investigator. His job was to find out every bit of information possible without letting it be known that I was the one who needed the intel. Weeks later Bob’s investigation was complete. She was single. I learned once that the Romans considered Cupid to be the god of erotic love. While I was never a believer of Roman or Greek mythology myself, there was something mythical about my emerging romance with De. I grew to love her in a way that I’ve only seen articulated in fairytales. My relationship with her would prove to be a huge swing of positive momentum. She was more than a girlfriend; she was my best friend. She was constantly looking out for me. Whether it meant giving me her allowance so I could have some money to eat or sneaking me into the house in the winter to sleep in her closet when I was between living situations, De had my back and never let me down. She was my angel sent straight from the Lord himself.

Principle 10: Stop sabotaging yourself.

While my love for De was growing exponentially, if there was one thing about her that bothered me, it was her mouth. She never held anything back. If she thought it, she said it. “I don’t know why you hanging out on Mark Twain so much. You need to make up your mind what you want to do. Are you trying to get your life together for real, or are you just saying that to impress me? You know you are going to end up going to jail or get killed. I am not visiting you in jail Eric. Eric, are you listening to me?” God knows that girl was the love of my life, but I promise it didn’t seem like she had a sensitive bone in her body once we started dating. She was constantly nagging me about school. I used to think Pastor Willis put her up to pushing me into getting my G.E.D. Pastor Willis knew I had a soft spot for De and that I was bound to go take my test just off the strength of the love I had for her. Whenever I think about how much De harassed me about getting my life together, I always think about the relationship between Coach Larry Brown and the Detroit Pistons. Starting point guard, Chauncey Billups, appeared on ESPN’s Hot Seat the season after Larry Brown was fired. He was asked which coach the players liked most, their former coach, Larry Brown, or their new coach, Flip Saunders (keep in mind Larry Brown had won a championship with the team just a few years prior). Chauncey gave a diplomatic answer; he said the verdict was still out. But the rumor was that Flip Saunders was more of a player’s coach and the guys couldn’t stand Larry Brown’s “no nonsense” style of leadership. Brown’s philosophy was that defense wins the game, not offense. Flip Saunders gave them more freedom on defense and allowed them to open it up on the offensive end. In short, the players may have liked Flip Saunders more for his laid back style, but they never won a championship. I felt the same way about my relationship with De. I felt like she pushed me too hard. It was as if she had forgotten about all my hardships and the struggles I was going through. But De wanted us to be champions. She said, “You are sabotaging yourself hanging on the block. One minute you are in church praising the Lord and the next minute you’re hanging around drug dealers and thugs. As far as I know you’re selling drugs, you’re out in the streets an awful lot. It’s time to get serious Eric, I’m not playing anymore.” I wouldn’t admit it then, but she was right. De was pushing me towards greatness but I was scared to make a whole hearted attempt to reach it. I was purposely sabotaging my chances of succeeding and the momentum I had gained was quickly fading.

CHAPTER

9

Enough is Enough