The Secret to Success

I brought that Detroit blue-collar mentality to the squad. I helped design programs on and off campus that helped individuals regain their hope academically and spiritually. My messages were real, relevant, and delivered in plain English. But one of the things I made sure not to do was try to duplicate what Black and Tre were doing. As long as I stayed in my lane and did not try to be a big shot, I was safe. So I passed out flyers, went from dorm to dorm announcing the event, and I also opened and closed the event with a short speech. Whatever grunt work Black or Tre asked me to do; it was an honor. As I matured, Black and Tre gradually began to give me more responsibilities and opportunities. It was a perfect demonstration of teamwork and everyone playing their position.

“I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses.” - Johann Kepler

In addition to our weekly planning meetings, we also met weekly for what was known as Lemon Squeezes. Every Friday afternoon the executive team was required to participate in a weekly constructive criticism session. The purpose of the session was to help the members of Bell Tower Ministries identify and eliminate personal weaknesses and build on their strengths. Black always preached, “We are only as strong as our weakest link.” He believed that all the great empires fell from the inside. I remember going to every meeting tense with knots in my stomach. You never knew what another one of your peers was going to say to you or someone else. The Lemon Squeeze sessions in my opinion were always dangerous. Personally, I had never been in a setting with my peers where we spoke so freely and honestly about other people’s flaws. Where I was from, if a person talked about someone like that, it was bound to turn into a knockdown, drag out fight. The only time anyone remotely addressed a brother’s weakness and it not turn into a fight was during a roasting session (playing the dozens). Even then if the person was not careful, it could go from a roast to a heavy weight prizefight. The rules were simple. The group would select one individual from the team to take 5 to 10 minutes sharing with a certain individual their opinion about what that person needed to work on over the next week. The team member who was critiqued was not allowed to rebut. After each member gave his remarks, the individual was then asked to explain how he could use the constructive criticism to elevate his personal and organizational game. The sessions always ended with group praise. Black believed the session should always end with the message that each individual was valued as a person and that all contributions to the organization were valued (hence the name Lemon Squeeze.) Our meetings started with constructive criticism (the individual getting squeezed) and ended with praise (adding the sugar to make lemonade). I am not sure which was more salient, the actual process or the things I learned about myself during each session. The process taught me the value of being proactive. Black realized he did not want to wait for personality differences or petty misunderstandings to erode our mission. He could cut it off before it gained any momentum. More importantly, I learned through the process that by decreasing your threats you simultaneously increase your growth and success.

CHAPTER

11

You should have put a ring on it.

“One half of me is yours, the other half yours-Mine own, I would say; but if mine, then yours, And so all yours!” - William Shakespeare