The Shadow Wife

“What if Mother knows, and says it’s all right?” Carlynn asked. “He’d come then, wouldn’t he?”

“Of course, and that would be wonderful,” Lisbeth said. “It would also be a miracle, though.” She ran a hand through her blond curls, which she now wore looser and longer, in a style that was so flattering Carlynn wished she’d discovered it first.

“Well, I’m going to talk with her about it,” Carlynn said.

“Good luck,” Lisbeth said. She didn’t sound at all optimistic.

Carlynn called her mother that evening from the phone in her bedroom, and Delora immediately launched into a litany of problems she was having making arrangements with the photographer and the caterer. Carlynn listened patiently, and when Delora stopped to take a breath, she said, “I need to talk with you about something, Mother.”

“Don’t tell me the wedding’s off,” Delora said. There was more of a warning in her voice than there was sympathy.

“No, of course not. Nothing like that. I just wanted…” She hesitated. “You know, of course, that Lisbeth will be bringing her boyfriend.”

“Yes, I have his name on the list. Gabriel, isn’t it? Shall I put him at the head table, next to Lisbeth?”

“That would be perfect, Mother. But I thought it would be best if you knew a little bit about him before the big day.” Carlynn screwed up her nose as she spoke. She hated this. Gabriel’s color should not be an issue, and she felt as though she, herself, was making it one.

“Well, tell me about him, then,” her mother said. “Where is his family from?”

“Gabriel’s a fabulous person, Mom,” Carlynn said, avoiding the question of family, “but I thought I should let you know ahead of time that he’s a Negro, just so you wouldn’t be surprised when you saw him.”

There was a long silence on the phone line, and Carlynn wondered if her mother had fallen into a dead faint.

“This figures,” Delora said finally, in disgust. “Lisbeth goes out with no one her entire life, and then when she finally does, it’s with a colored man. Well, it’s out of the question, Carlynn. He can’t come here.”

“It’s my wedding, Mother.”

“And it’s my house and many of my friends will be here, and I just won’t have it, Carlynn.”

Carlynn ran her hand over the chenille spread on her bed, trying to think of a different approach. “Mom, he’s really a lovely man,” she said. “He—”

“I don’t care if he’s president of the United States, he’s not coming here.”

Carlynn gritted her teeth. “Lisbeth loves him, Mother. And he loves her. Doesn’t that count for something? He’s a professional. An accountant at SF General.”

“So he thinks he can get a white woman, then? Because he’s an accountant? He’s going to lower Lisbeth to his level, that’s all he’s going to do. And Lisbeth is going to let it happen.”

Carlynn let out her breath. How was she supposed to respond to that?

“If you think I’m going to have someone like that at one of my parties, especially on the arm of one of my daughters, well…I wouldn’t dream of putting any of my guests in that uncomfortable position.”

“It’s not your party, Mother. It’s my wedding. And it’s Lisbeth you’re putting in an uncomfortable position. You’re making her unwelcome in the home she grew up in.”

“I never said she wasn’t welcome. She can come. But she’d better be alone.”

“Mother…” Carlynn’s voice trailed off in frustration.

“You know, I sometimes wonder if that girl is actually mine. I was asleep when they cut her out of me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Oh, I know she looks just like you, but you’re a true Kling, with elegance and bearing and intelligence…”

Carlynn rolled her eyes.

“…but, somehow, Lisbeth turned out to be nothing but trash. Fat trash. I just can’t believe she’s doing this to me. To our family.” Her mother was weeping now, and Carlynn ignored her tears.

She thought of telling her that any differences between her twin daughters were of her own creation, but wisely bit her tongue. “She’s not fat any longer, and you know it,” she said instead. “You saw her just a few weeks ago. She looks great. Give her some credit. She gained weight because she was miserable, but with Gabriel, she’s happy. She’s lost seventy pounds so far, and you didn’t even compliment her on it when you saw her.”

“I don’t care if she disappears,” her mother said angrily, and hung up the phone.

Carlynn stared at the phone in her hand a long time before placing it back in the cradle.

Lying down on the bed, she continued the conversation with her mother in her mind. She thought of telling her that she envied what Lisbeth had with Gabriel. There was an adoration between Lisbeth and Gabe, a love so caring and tender, it sometimes made her feel weepy to be around it. She knew Alan loved her, but it was different. She supposed that she, as a physician, did not invite the sort of attentive devotion that Lisbeth received from Gabriel. She couldn’t help but wish, though, that Alan would touch her more often, hold her hand in public and talk with her about his deepest secrets and feelings, the way Lisbeth said Gabriel spoke to her.