The Stainless Steel Rat Gets Drafted

"We have about another half hour of riding to go. And before you groan remember that these sweet young girls, who have risked their lives to save us, must ride with us—then circle all the way back to the city by another road. And lest we forget, let's hear it for the girls!" The chorus of yells, thanks, cheers—and not a few kisses rolled out. I had to whistle for attention before it died down.

"Here is the drill. We are now going to go to a factory that has a railroad siding. A freight train from the north will be arriving when we do. We board and we're away. There will be no stops until we are far from the city. Now—mount up! Forward—H.o-o!"

There was silence during the ride, because my gallant bikers were feeling the strain. There was some panic when a chopper came swooping up, but I ordered male heads down—girls to wave and smile. It worked fine and there were no more alarms after this. As we rounded the last bend to approach the kakalaka factory we heard the wail of the train's horn. The line of freight cars was just clattering into the siding when we appeared.

"Open the doors!" I ordered. "Get in before another chopper shows up. Take your bikes—they'll be debited from your future accounts—wave bye-bye and blow lasses because we are off in one minute."

I turned to thank Neebe, the gorgeous, brown-limbed redhead who was president of the cycling club, but she was just passing on the club flag to her second-in-command. Then she wheeled her bik"e toward me, smiling a smile that melted my bike handles.

"May I be very forward, ofiworlder James diGriz, and force my presence upon you? You have but to say no and I will go."

"Glug …I"

"I assume that means yes." She entered the freight car, propped her bicycle against mine, and sat down daintily upon a bale of hay. "You are very kind. Up until today I have been attending school here in Bellegarrique but now, like everyone else, I am leaving. My home is on a farm in the north in a hamlet named Ling. I have talked with my father and mother,, brothers and sisters, and grandmother, and they would all be honored if you would stay with us for as long as you wished."

I knew that Morton had been listening because his face went completely green and he began to pout. "I would be honored, honored. What a wonderful idea!" She smiled, then her expression changed to one of shock when she saw Morton's face. "Is your friend ill?'

"No." I sighed with generosity. "It is just that he has no place to go and is hoping that you will invite him too."

"Of course!"

The green tint vanished instantly and he smiled sheepishly. "I accept with gratitude. But just for a short time. Until I can get in touch with a friend of mine named Sharia."

"Oh, you do remember her," I said sweetly, and he glared at me as soon as Neebe had turned away.

Once we began to relax it was a pleasant journey. The roadbed was flat, the train swift. After an hour we knew that we were well clear of the city and all the enemy lurking there. The hay bales were broken open, the tired ex-girls, using their padded bras for pillows, slept. It was nearly dark when we made the first stop. Hampers of food and drink were loaded aboard and we were away within the minute. We ate, drank, and fell asleep once again. I awoke to the gentle touch of a soft hand on my shoulder. "We are here," Neebe said. "I must awaken your friend," Lights were moving by outside the open door as the train squealed to a stop. We climbed down and our bikes were handed after us. Followed by glad cries and shouts of farewell we mounted and followed Neebe down the high-

way, out of town, and to the family farm. The road was smooth and easy to see, A magnificent nebula haiffilled the sky and bathed us in a cool white light.

"Even if I could go back to Nevenkebia I never would," Morton panted.

"You have family there. "

"I'll miss them—but I won't miss the draft, the army, the military, the intolerance…"

He gasped for air and I nodded agreement. "Understood. This planet has a lot going for it. Though I still don't understand'all the permutations oflM it seems to be working. But all is not peace and light yet. Let us not forget Zennor." Morton groaned. "I would love to."

Next morning it looked as though the entire family was standing around and beaming down upon us. While the ladies of the house fought to see how many eggs, wiffles and other gustatory goodies they could force upon us. We fought hottorably to do our best. Groaning we finally pushed away from the table while the audience went off to work on the farm.

"That was very good," Morton said. "That was very wonderful," I amplified.

"Both meals already deducted from your account," Neebe smiled, handing me back my wirrdisc. "I added an order to transfer payment to Morton's account when it is opened."

"I love IM hospitality," I said. "It is personal without being financial. I want to learn more about your world."