The Time Traveler's Almanac

At university they’d draped all over each other and never cared. They’d both had their gay periods then, reverting straight the next semester when Rosamund admitted she couldn’t do all the clogged-up sinks and he admitted he couldn’t deal with the late nights, and life proceeded from there. Daniel had one and a half divorces and Dr. Tilly had littered Hartford with a committed lack of commitment. She’d also littered Hartford with Snowdrop and Sparrow Tilly, who were the delights of her life, or at least would be when one or the other stopped texting her, and now that they were grown up being without Daniel was a terrible chore. Rosamund had never been lonely for anyone except Daniel Tsai, and when she pressed closer she could feel the beat of his heart slithering arrhythmically against her arm.

“Don’t,” he said again. Her mouth was very close to his mouth. Danny’s dark eyes were fathomless and closed. “We can’t handle change, Rosamund. I love you too much and know you too well. Think about this.”

The room closed down claustrophobically on her. She wanted to say: do you know how long I’ve thought about this? Or: I want you more than anyone I ever thought I wanted. And: I’m so sorry. Instead she accidentally said, “I—”

*   *   *

“Well?” Danny Fourteen said. “Did worlds collide?”

*   *   *

Dr. Tilly quit wasting time. She shot to her feet, made a beeline for her notebook, laptop jabbing into her thigh and irritated at the faint smell of chinchillas as she wrote. He said, “What,” as she flipped over pages, pretty patient as she gestured him away from trying to look – all he did was eventually get up and get himself a glass of water, as though this were a perfectly normal evening.

“Just nod your head for all’s well and shake it for things not well,” said Daniel, “maybe flailing a little for something in the middle, God knows, I didn’t learn how to deal with this in school.”

Now used to gestures, she jabbed a finger at him until he sat back down on the squashy sofa and looked up at her expectantly. Dr. Tilly did not expect to feel so shaky. She tasted nervousness in her saliva as she flipped up the notebook—

Don’t stop me, Daniel.

“Oh, yes, that calms me down,” said Danny. “That makes me feel perfectly at ease.”

Flip. We need to talk.

“Okay. Any reason you’re using flashcards?”

Flip. & what I’m saying here is all true and nothing to do with any house magic.

Danny still looked pretty buttoned-up and patient, but his voice had that overly reasonable cast people took on if they thought you were a bit loopy. “Okay. Go on.”

what did you have for lunch today??

“Rose, you already asked, and it was a peanut butter protein bar.”

Mr. Daniel Tsai, are you in love with me?

He didn’t even take it in. He read it, looked at her face, saw the question there as well, and smiled as gently as a chartered stockbroker could when faced with a woman for whom the date was over – self-effacing, running one hand through that grey-sprigged hair as though trying to consider how best to put things. “So that’s what you’re worried about,” he said carefully. “Rosamund, you know I care about you, don’t you? You and the girls are the most important people in my life who don’t share my genetic code.”

This was not going well. She had made some mistake. When Danny decided the best defense was a good offense, he went in with irritated guns blazing. “I know we joke around a lot,” he was saying. “Is it the flirting? We can stop if it makes you uncomfortable. To be honest, I do love you. But I haven’t been in love with you since I was eighteen.”

It was incredible. She hadn’t thought you could physically feel your heart breaking, a sort of sucking sensation near the aorta as it imploded into itself. Dr. Tilly hadn’t thought her heart would break at all. “Don’t worry,” he added, “nothing’s going to change, Rose. Nothing.”

“Let me try this again,” she said.

*   *   *

“Well?” Danny Fifteen said. “Did worlds collide?”

*   *   *

It was a little funny, even, how his reactions didn’t change, how she noticed the quirk of his eyebrows once he got to halfway through her litany. Her handwriting had perhaps been a little messier this time. There was only one change now, a question of semantics—

“Rose, you already asked,” said Danny, “and it was a peanut butter protein bar.”

Mr. Daniel Tsai: I am in love with you.