War And Peace

When people advised him to go into government service, or when there was open discussion of political developments or the war, with implications that such-and-such an outcome of such-and-such an event would determine the happiness of all men, he would listen with a gentle smile of commiseration and then shock the company by a series of strange observations. But both types of people – those seen by Pierre as understanding the real meaning of life (his feelings), and the miserable wretches who obviously didn’t – all of them presented themselves to Pierre in the brilliant light of his own radiant feelings, and in everybody he came across he hadn’t the slightest difficulty in seeing nothing but goodness and deserving of love.

As he went through his dead wife’s papers and things, the memory of her evoked in him nothing but a feeling of regret that she had never known the happiness he knew now. Prince Vasily, who was now at the peak of his pride, having received a new post and the star that went with it, struck him as a pathetic figure, a nice old man greatly to be pitied.

In days to come Pierre would often recall this period of mindless bliss. Any judgements of people and circumstances made by him at this time remained forever true. Far from going back on his assessment of men and things, if ever he was assailed later on by doubts or contradictory feelings he would simply go back to the view he had held during his period of madness, and inevitably that view never let him down.

‘All right,’ he would think, ‘maybe I did seem weird and ridiculous at that time, but I wasn’t as crazy as I looked. Oh no, I was sharper and cleverer then than I’ve ever been, and I understood everything worth understanding in life, because . . . well, because I was happy.’

Pierre’s madness simply meant that he didn’t wait, as in days gone by, for people to show personal qualities, what he might call virtues, before loving them. With his heart overflowing with love he loved people for no reason at all, and then had no trouble discovering many a sound reason that made them worth loving.

CHAPTER 20

After Pierre’s departure that first evening, when Natasha had told Princess Marya with a happy smile of mischief that he looked exactly, yes, exactly, as if he was fresh from the bath-house, with his short jacket and close-cropped hair, from that moment something secret, unrecognized though irresistible, had awakened in Natasha’s soul.

Everything about her – her face, her walk, her eyes, her voice – was suddenly changed. Much to her own surprise, a new vitality and hopes of happiness had burst forth and demanded satisfaction. After that first evening Natasha seemed to have forgotten everything that had happened to her. There was no more complaining about her present situation, not a word about the past, and she was no longer too scared to make happy plans for the future. She said very little about Pierre, but when Princess Marya mentioned him a long-dead gleam returned to her eyes, and her lips curved into a strange smile.

At first the change that had come over Natasha took Princess Marya by surprise, and when she understood what it meant she was saddened by it. ‘Can she have loved my brother so little that she can forget him so quickly?’ Princess Marya wondered, alone with her thoughts. But when she was with Natasha she wasn’t angry with her, and she didn’t blame her. The new vitality that had taken hold of Natasha was clearly so irresistible and so unexpected by Natasha herself that in her presence Princess Marya felt she had no right to blame her even in her heart of hearts.

Natasha gave herself up to this new sensation with such whole-heartedness and sincerity that she made no attempt to hide the fact that grief was behind her, and now she was happy and joyful.

When Princess Marya had returned to her room that night after her long talk to Pierre, Natasha had met her at the door.

‘Has he said anything? Has he? Has he said anything?’ she repeated. And Natasha’s face had shone with happiness, though it also had a pathetic look as if to apologize for any happiness. ‘I felt like listening at the door, but I knew you’d tell me.’

Although Princess Marya could well understand that look and was moved by it, although she felt sorry for Natasha in all her anxiety, for a moment she was offended by these words. She was thinking about her brother and his love.

‘But what can we do? She can’t help it,’ thought Princess Marya, and with a sad and rather grim face she repeated for Natasha’s benefit everything Pierre had said to her. Natasha was astounded to hear he was going to Petersburg.

‘Going to Petersburg!’ she repeated, as if she couldn’t take it in.

But when she saw the gloomy expression on Princess Marya’s face she guessed what was wrong and suddenly burst into tears.

‘Marie,’ she said, ‘tell me what to do. I’m scared of doing the wrong thing. I’ll do anything you say. Just tell me.’

‘You do love him, don’t you?’

‘Yes!’ whispered Natasha.