We'll meet again

"Nor am I, but I have just had one. The end is nigh, it says. I have unburdened my soul-and now, my dear, it is farewell. I hope your future will be a happy one. I fancy it will be. This evil war must end, and when you have made your decision, I am sure it will be the right one.”

I stooped over him and kissed his forehead.

"Thank you, my dear," he said, and closed his eyes.

Three days later he had a massive stroke from which he did not recover.

The premonition of which he had spoken had proved to be a warning of what was to come.

So there was another journey to the cemetery.

When we were back in Tregarland's the lawyer from Plymouth read the will. Tristan had become the owner of the estate; Gordon was acknowledged as James's natural son; he was to remain administrator of the estate and was to inherit forty thousand pounds. Glasses of sherry were served and there was a hushed atmosphere throughout the house.

It was amazing how we missed the old man. We had not seen a great deal of him, but we had always been aware of his presence.

What changes there had been since I had first seen Tregarland's, although it was not so very long ago. For so many years it had gone on in the same way and then, suddenly, the changes had come ... drastic changes, death, and disaster. And what now, I wondered?

The days were passing. Summer... autumn. My mother wrote often.

She thought I should get away... come back home for a while. I knew she was thinking I would be better somewhere else that I might escape from memories of Jowan.

They had all made up their minds that he was lost forever. I guessed what my mother was saying to my father: "The sooner she gets away from that place the better. She ought to be meeting people... young people. Dorabella is very interested in that nice Captain Brent, and it seems he is in her. Perhaps she will marry again. But Violetta, she is different. She doesn't shrug off these things like her sister does. She should get away.”

I had my work which I took very seriously. We had made over rooms at Tregarland's to the convalescing soldiers and were kept busy. I was glad of that. I tried to stop brooding, and the long talks with Gordon helped. He told me he had shelved the idea of getting a place of his own and would not leave Tregarland's until he could pass it over to Tristan.

I wondered what he would have said if he knew his father had talked of our getting together. I believed that he did have tender feelings towards me, and sometimes I let myself imagine that Jowan did not come back and that I married Gordon. No, I thought. That could not be.

And Jowan would come back. There were two of us-his grandmother and myself-who believed he would, though perhaps we forced ourselves to do so because we could not bear it to be otherwise.

In September Dorabella had one of her frequent visits to the Poldowns during which she was away for a longish time. I knew that she was with Captain Brent. She came back in a state of depression.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"James says he is leaving the area in a few weeks' time.”

"Where is he going?”

"He's not sure.”

She looked wretched. I could never be sure how serious was this attachment to Captain Brent. I had thought it was a light-hearted wartime affair which had come about because they both happened to be in the same place at the same time and liked each other.

But she was certainly downcast.

"What shall you do?" I asked.

"I don't know. Everything is so uncertain. James is in an important job, you know.”

"I guessed that. I suppose you will be hearing which part of the country he's in. That won't be a secret, will it?”

"He will let me know.”

"I suppose you will keep in touch?”

"Oh, yes.”

"Do you really care about him, Dorabella?”

"Quite a bit.”

"Have you talked... about the future?”

"My dear prosaic old Violetta, you don't change. How does any of us know what our future will be?”

She was right in that.

Later she heard that he would be somewhere in the southeast, not far from London, and she was slightly less depressed.

Letters were arriving from our mother. Why did we not come home for a while? Surely they could do without us for a bit?

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could come to Caddington and bring little Tristan and Nanny Crabtree with you?”

"Why shouldn't we?" said Dorabella.

"We have our work here.”

"We're not indispensable Mrs. Jermyn could find plenty of others to take our place. There are many women round here who would like to find some work to do... something that would help the war effort. Mrs. Pardell, for one, would give a hand.”

"I don't think the men would find her a good replacement for you, Dorabella.”

"She would be very efficient, and they would be amused by her North Country frankness.”

"A little different from your flirtatious chat.”

"A change is always welcome.”

"Only if it is a change for the better.”