Will You Love Me in September

It was at times like this that I felt irritated with him and disappointed. Dickon, I felt sure, would have understood my fears. At least he would have given his attention to them.

I decided to speak to Sabrina.

"Do you think it wise to give so much of your attention to Reggie Lowell?" I asked.

"I like Reggie," she answered. "And I think he likes me." "I'm sure of it," I said. "That's the trouble. He likes you too much. I think he's in love with you.”

She nodded, smiling gently.

"But, Sabrina," I went on, "I know you feel sorry for him, but is it right to lead him on to think-”

"To think what?”

"Well, that you might marry him.”

"Why shouldn't he think it?”

"But you wouldn't.”

"Why not?”

"Oh, Sabrina, do you really mean you're in love with him?”

She hesitated, and I went on triumphantly, "There, you see. You're sorry for him.

I know that. I know you well. But that is not enough.”

"Enough? He needs someone to look after him, to show him that he would be all right if he would forget about not being so.”

"Dear Sabrina, what you are doing is giving him the wrong impression.”

"I am not," she said firmly.

"Do you mean to say you would marry him?" ) "I might.”

"Sabrina! There are so many ... you could have almost anybody.”

"I don't want anybody. I want to help Reggie.”

I was disturbed, and then I began to think that perhaps she was right. Reggie needed her, and Sabrina was the kind of girl who needed to be needed. It may have gone back to that incident on the ice and her father's dislike for her. I had thought when she had saved my life we had wiped that out forever, but perhaps some dramatic incidents made such an effect on the mind that they are indelible.

I saw that Lance was right. Matters must take their course.

And how was I to know what a dramatic and tragic course this would take?

Sabrina came to me in the garden where I was gathering roses. It was a lovely summer's day. I could hear the voices of Zipporah and Jean-Louis in the paddock. They were riding there, as they often did, and Jean-Louis was teaching her to jump the hedge which separated the paddock from the home field.

I snipped my roses contentedly, picking the best blooms and thinking what a beautiful afternoon it was. I heard the buzzing of the bees that were marauding the lavender growing in profusion round the pond, where now and then I saw the flash of the goldfish which Zipporah called her own because she liked to feed them. The smell of the lavender was sweet, there were white butterflies on the purple buddleia, and it was an afternoon for contentment-so I thought.

Sabrina was standing beside me. She looked cool in a green linen gown and a big shady hat-cool, beautiful and sure of herself.

"Clarissa, I wanted you to be the first to know.”

I turned to look at her. There was a smile on her face and her lovely eyes were looking past me as though into the future.

My heart sank. I was afraid of what she was going to tell me.

"Yes," she said, "you've guessed. I'm going to marry Reggie.”

"Sabrina!”

"You don't approve, I know. Dear Clarissa, I promise you that it will be all right.”

"Do you ... love him?”

Again that momentary hesitation. "But of course," she said at length, almost irritably.

She looked so beautiful standing there-and so young that I felt she had not yet come to womanhood. When she did she would be a vibrant, passionate woman. There must be some man who would awaken her-but it was not Reggie. I knew that she would marry him for pity, and that was no good reason for a woman like Sabrina to plan for her future happiness.

"Have you thought of this very seriously?”

"Of course," she said, again with that touch of irritability which suggested to me that she was far from sure.

"Perhaps if you waited a little ...”

"Waited? Who wants to wait? I shall soon be twenty years of age. Most people are married when they are as old as that. Oh, Clarissa, I want to make up for all that he has suffered. He has been through so much with that dreadful father of his.”

"He will be your father-in-law-think of that.”

"One does not marry for the sake of a father-in-law.”

"No, but you would doubtless come into contact with him often.”

"We should not. I should see to that. I will take Reggie far away. We would visit rarely ... just for convention's sake. His father has not been very good for him.

In fact, it is his father who has made him what he is ... timid, uncertain ... a little afraid of life.”

"Do you really want to marry a man like that?”

"I want to marry Reggie. I can help him.”

"Sabrina, you should be a wife, not a ... reformer.”

"You are being a little difficult, darling. It is not like you. You have always understood and helped me. Oh, don't you see what parents can do to their children? When they are young they feel things so deeply.”

I could see the past in her eyes. I remembered vividly that time when Jeremy had come to her and let her know that he hated her for what she had done to her mother.

She was right. Parents' actions could be very significant for impressionable children.