Will You Love Me in September

She was still thoughtful when she came back from her ride. I followed her up to the nursery. Aimee was there, paying a rare visit to Jean-Louis. Nanny Goswell was expounding her little man's virtues; Nanny Curlew was mending a dress which Sabrina had torn; and Jeanne was there putting away some newly laundered clothes.

Aimee looked distastefully at Sabrina and said, "Oh, there she is. I was talking of you. You're a wicked girl. You ought to be whipped.”

Sabrina's eyes sparkled. She hated Aimee, and I think that after the quiet reception of her action by Lance she was ready to delight in conflict.

"You wouldn't dare," she said.

"Wouldn't. I? I'd have you beaten till you cried for mercy. I'd send you to bed and make you stay there. You're a bad, wicked girl trying to make trouble. Sticking the cards together like that. Why did you do that? To upset everyone. Everyone thought you were the naughtiest girl they had ever come across.”

I wanted to intervene, but I didn't, for I felt Sabrina needed to know what effect her actions had on people.

"I would have come straight up to you and given you what you deserve," went on Aimee.

"You're an ungrateful little beast. You have been given a home here ...”

I did stop that. I didn't want Sabrina developing new resentments. I said, "Sabrina is very sorry. She won't do such a thing again.”

'I might," said Sabrina, looking hard at Aimee. I took off her cocked hat and ruffled her hair. "No, you wouldn't," I said. "Get changed, dear. We should be at our lessons.”

I was teaching Sabrina myself at first. We had decided that she should have a governess later on.

Nanny Curlew had taken Sabrina's arm and was drawing her through to the bedroom.

"You'll have trouble with that child, Clarissa," said Aimee to me.

"I'll manage," I replied.

"She ought to be grateful. She's been given a home.”

"I don't want her to think on those lines," I said quickly. "I want her to regard this as her rightful home ... where she belongs.”

"You spoil her. What she did last night was really venomous.”

"It was done in the spirit of mischief.”

Nanny Goswell said, "Nanny Curlew has punished her. She is to have no strawberry preserve today.”

"No strawberry preserve!" muttered Aimee. "What a punishment. It's encouraging her to do it all over again.”

I did not want to argue with Aimee so I went out. Jeanne came with me.

"And who is she to talk about Sabrina being given a home, eh? Tell me that. What of Madame Aimee, eh? A nice figure she'd cut if this house wasn't offering open welcome to her.”

I was silent and did not reprove her. She was only saying what I thought myself.

Later in the day I went with Sabrina walking in the woods. I was wondering how to explain to her that she would be far happier if she did not fight against people.

I did not refer to the card incident. I felt we had had enough of that, but I wanted to explain to her that she must try to help people rather than upset them.

She was so happy running about gathering bluebells. They were a lovely misty blue under the trees. Summer was on the way.

"We'll have picnics in the woods when the warm weather comes," I said. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Sabrina?”

"Yes, I would," she said.

Then we started playing a game naming the things we should put in a picnic hamper and then testing each other's memory by remembering them in the right order. Sabrina loved such games, and she put so much enthusiasm into them that she invariably was the winner. She was laughing as she corrected me for leaving out something, and in that moment she was a normal, happy child.

We came to the dene hole. This was one of the artificially excavated prehistoric pits which are found in Kent and Essex. It must have been about three-quarters of a mile or so from the house. Sabrina had always been fascinated by it, and I had made her swear not to go too near it. Remembering her exploit on the ice, she did promise, and I did not think she would break her word to me. But her footsteps always seemed to lead her to it and she would stand a little way back regarding it with awe.

"Why did they make it?" she asked.

"We don't know. It goes back too far in time. It might have been somewhere to hide from enemies. They were always fighting in those days. Or it may have been to store their food.”

"But how did they get down there?”

"They must have had some means.”

"Like Jacob's ladder.”

"It may have been.”

"How deep is it?”

"Very deep, they say. I don't think anyone has ever been down there.”

Then Sabrina did what she always did; she picked up a stone and threw it down the hole. She stood listening, entranced. The fact that there was no sound as it reached the bottom gave credence to the story that it was bottomless.

"It goes right down and down to the center of the earth," said Sabrina.

"So be careful and promise me not to go too near.”

She nodded and skipped away.