Witch from the Sea

There was the coming of my stepmother. That I knew already. She had come on Hallowe’en and been found by my mother. It was a story which had often been told.

And then … my mother’s discovery of my father’s profession.

I could not bear that. I wished I had never found the papers. So on those nights of storm he lured ships on to the rocks. A flash of understanding came to me. The night I had lighted the lanterns in the tower they had been deliberately put out. It was for that reason that there had been a whipping in the Seaward courtyard. Someone had been blamed for lighting them on that night. Someone who should have seen that they were put out.

What can I do? I asked myself. I cannot stay here. I won’t stay here. I must get away. I must put a stop to my father’s hideous trade.

How?

I could betray him. To whom? I was so ignorant of what should be done. What if I told Fenn? I could go to him and tell him what was happening and he would stop it. And Fenn’s father was in that grave. Murdered 1600 and by my own father!

I felt inadequate, alone.

To whom could I turn?

There was my grandmother. I could go to her. She was a wise woman. She would tell me what to do.

Then I thought of her, frail and failing, and I asked myself how could I burden her with this?

I must find a way. I would make sure that always the lanterns shone out their beams on the water. They might turn them out but I would see that they were lighted. At least I could do that. I had saved a ship once. I would do it again.

They would discover, of course. What would they do to me? What would my father do if he knew that I was aware of his trade? He was a violent man; and if he was capable of letting hundreds drown for the sake of the cargo they carried, what else was he capable of?

Murdered 1600! I kept seeing that stone on my mother’s grave. I read on in fascinated horror.

She had been afraid. She had suspected something. She had been comforted by my presence and on the night I was not there she had died.

I had learned so much through those papers but not what I had set out to know.

How did my mother die?

In view of all I now knew I was convinced that she had been murdered.

My knowledge had changed me. Senara noticed it.

“What’s happened?” she demanded. “Something has.”

I shook my head. “What do you mean?”

“I can see it,” she insisted. “I’ve spoken to you twice and you haven’t answered. You’re dreaming half the time. And you’re worried, Tamsyn. What is it?”

“You’re imagining things,” I said.

But she didn’t believe me and she wasn’t going to let it rest.

“I believe you’ve discovered something. What is it? Is it why Fenn doesn’t come to see you?”

“I don’t need to discover that. Why should he come to see me more than anyone else?”

“Because there was some special understanding between you.”

“In other people’s imaginations,” I said.

“Well, if it’s not Fenn, what is it? I know. You’ve found those papers you were looking for.”

I started. I must have betrayed myself.

“So you have,” she declared.

“The papers are still in their secret hiding-place.” This was true. I had put them back in the sandalwood desk. I would keep the desk in the old place so that none might find anything different. That was the safest way.

“I believe you have seen them,” said Senara. “You’ve been reading the revelations and it has made you very thoughtful. You can’t keep secrets, Tamsyn. You never could.”

“You’d be surprised,” I said, “what secrets I can keep.”

“If you’ve found those papers and won’t show them to me I’ll never forgive you.”

“I dare say I shall get through life without your forgiveness.”

“So you have found them.”

“I said I could do without your forgiveness.”

“You are maddening. But you’ve found them, I know. Don’t imagine that I’m not going to pester you till you tell me where they are.”

Merry had come into the room.

I wondered how much she had overheard.

It was amazing how difficult it was to keep a secret in a household of many people. I was well aware that several people believed with Senara that I had found the papers.

During that day the uneasiness came to me.

I was possessed of dangerous knowledge. There were several people involved—my father who gave the orders, all the men of the Seaward Tower who were his helpers in his work of destruction, my stepmother who might have been my father’s mistress while my mother was alive and who married him three months after her death.