X-Treme Latin (Lingua Latina Extrema)

I believe the minimum award in civil cases should be one million dollars, but if you lose, you get the electric chair

Mea sententia, causam privatam obtinenti ut minimum decies centena milia Ioachimicorum addici debent, at de perdente supplicium ultimum in electrica sella sumendum est

I plan to find everyone not guilty by reason of I am extremely pissed off

In animo mihi est, iracundiae meae maximae causa, quemque reum absolvere de crimine

But in a larger sense, can any of us say that we are truly innocent?

Quod autem ad res universas attinet, ecquis nostrum dicere potest se vere innocentem esse?

No, no! It was me! It was me all along! I did it! I did it and I’m glad! Ha-ha, just kidding.

Minime! Non est! Ego fui! Semper ego! Ego facinus feci! Atque gaudeo me fecisse! Hahahae! Tantummodo iocabar.

Stealth Latin-SERMO LATINUS CLANDESTINUS

What you say in Latin

What you say it means

What it really means

Stupra fascino volanti torum pistrinum provolventem.

You never cease to amaze me with your deeply insightful remarks.

Go take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.

Quin futuis uxorem tuam foedam?

Why doesn’t everyone recognize your genius?

Why don’t you go screw your ugly wife?

Velim caput tuum devellere deinde in confinium gulae cacare.

I just want to tell you how much I appreciate your constructive criticism.

I’d like to rip off your head and take a dump in the hole.

Mande merdam et morere.

Keep up the good work.

Eat shit and die.

Propudium parcissimum.

I’ll get the check.

You cheap bastard.

Carrus exsecrabilis est! Venditor te irrumavit!

What a great car! You got a heck of a deal!

What a piece of shit! You got taken to the cleaners!

Aspice hanc supellectilem vilem. Quale gurgustium est.

Fabulous house-I love your taste.

Look at this cheesy crap. What a dump.

Rotaturne capitulum huius, virus exspuens viride?

Well, now, really, isn’t that the cutest baby you’ve ever seen?

Does its head spin around and spit green slime?

Speciem scurrae habes. Spectaculum petauristarum bestiarumque nescieGam adesse.

Dynamite outfit! It really looks good on you.

You look like a clown. I didn’t know the circus was in town.

Amicus tuus expers rationis est. Viculus nescioquis barone suo privatus est.

Your boyfriend is a great guy. No wonder you’ve been keeping him to yourself.

He’s a total moron. Somewhere there’s a village missing its idiot.

Amica tua est originis extraterrestrialis. Si fortuna tibi faveat, cum astronavem suam ista refecerit, a terra tuaque vita discedet tam cito quam fulmen ascendit.

Your girlfriend is a knockout. Talent, beauty, brains-she has it all.

She’s a space alien. If you’re lucky, when she gets her flying saucer fixed, she’ll be out of here and out of your life in a flash.

Stealth Latin for Golfers-SERMO LATINUS CLANDESTINUS IN LUSU CALEDONIO

Quod fustuarium!

Nice swing!

What a hack!

Salaputium fortunatum!

Great shot!

You lucky fuckhead.

Seligatur clava imprudenter

Be the right club.

Be the wrong club.

Pilula, curre in harenariam et defode te.

Hurry up ball, get some air! Be there!

Get in that bunker and bury.

Vola! Aberra! Egredere praeter terminos!

Stop! Hit something! Stay in play!

Go! Get lost, ball! Go out of bounds!

Immerge te in aquam!

Stay dry!

Get wet!

Decurre ab area leni in gramen densum!

Sit down! Bite!

Run off the green into the rough!

Transili puteolum!

Go in the hole!

Lip out!

Euax!

Aww, too bad!

Hurray!

Bad Latin, the Dirty Dozen-SERMO LATINUS IMPUDICUS: DUODECIM OBSCENA

asshole

culus, i m.; podex, podicis, m.

balls to be blown & to blow

coleus, i m.; irrumo, irrumare fello, fellare; ligurio, ire; (verpam) comedo, esse, edi, estum

to bugger butt

pedico, are clunis, is m. & f. (clunes, ium); natis, is f. (nates, ium); puta, ae f.

cock

capulus, i m.; cauda, ae f.; cicer, is n.; clavus, i m.; cucumis, eris m.; falcula, ae f.; fascinum, i n.; gladius, i m.; hasta, ae f.; membrum, i n.; mentula, ae f.; peculium, i n.; radix, icis f.; rutabulum, i n.; sicula, ae f.; telum, i n.; verpa, ae f.; vomer, eris m.

cunt

aratiuncula, ae f.; cunnus, i m.

fart, to fart

crepitus, us. m.: strepitus, us m.; crepo, crepare, crepui, crepitum; pedo, pedere, pepedi, peditum; strepito, are

to fuck

concumbo, concumbere, concubui, concubitum; futuo, futuere, futui, fututum

to jerk off

frico, fricare, fricui, frictum (fricatum); percieo, ire, ivi, itum; sollicito, are; tero, terere, trivi, tritum; tracto, tractare

piss, to piss

urina, ae f.; meio, meiere, mixi, mictum; mingo, mingere, minxi, minctum

shit, to shit

fimus, i m. & fimus, i n.; merda, ae f.; stercus, oris n.; caco, are

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