Yo-Yo Boing!

— The firm takes your allegations very seriously. Promise to come to the office tomorrow and put them in writing.

They raped my spirit. How will I put that in writing. Me gustaría desgarrarme la camisa, entera, y gritar:

— I am a woman! Sexual harassment!

— And that’s precisely what I love about Mishi. I mean, during the L.A. race riots, before the looting and the shooting had even stopped, when everything was hot and sticky in New York, she jumped right into a subway mugging and defended an old Mexican from four black guys.

— Give us everything you got, or else we’ll turn you in to La Imigra. We know you don’t have papers.

While they were taking his mickeycharras, Mishi, la quijotesca Mishi, se les acercó a los negros y les dijo:

— Why don’t you steal from the rich. Exploiting someone poorer than you. You know what you are.

— You, fucking bitch, shut up, or I’ll slit your throat.

— Coward! Why are you stealing from this man who is more fucked over than you. Go to Saks Fifth Avenue.

— You shut up.

— You shut up. What’s he done to you? He is just trying to earn his daily bread.

— You racist bitch.

— You fascist bastard.

— Fuck you, maaaan.

— Fuck you.

— Don’t point at me.

— Fuck you, man. Fuck, and now I’m really fucking mad, you better fucking move your fucking ass.

— Fuck you.

— Fuck, fuck you.

— Fuck, fuck you.

— Fuck you — you hear me, I said, Fuck youuuuu. I mean you, fuck. Fuck you, maaaan.

— Did they smack her?

— No, they jumped the turnstile with the old man’s goods.

— I’m gonna say it happened to me, but I didn’t let them walk off with the goods. Mishi’s ending is rather dismal.

— If you want to tell Makiko that’s fine, but it’s mine at Suzana’s tonight. You weren’t there. I took the thugs on myself.

— It’s funnier if you say I was there looking invisible. Five guys against one woman and her cowardly mate.

— Is it true? — they’ll say. I’ll look sheepish.

— I couldn’t believe it myself and I was there.

— Isn’t that something?

— Then I’ll laugh:

— What?

— Did you really say that?

— I would have liked to.

— But did you?

— They’ll think you are a danger to society.

— I was just teaching them a lesson.

— You’re encouraging them to steal so long as they’re not stealing from the poor, but look whom you’re stealing from.

— From Mishi. And Mishi is teaching them whom to steal from. I want to play the hero tonight.

— When you’re really a cheater. You’re a riot.

— Maybe it’s true, a riot, yes, a riot, not bad, next time, a riot, I’ll say I started a riot. I’m a bullshitter.

— Oh, no juegues, Mishi está ahí. ¿Sabías tú que venía esta noche?

— I’m very glad to have met you. We can continue talking later.

— You’re leaving me hanging.

— Later. We can talk later. I have to go. My translator. The poetry reading. I’m nervous.

— What happened to the black guys?

— What black guys?

— Spike Lee. We were talking about Malcom X.

— Se cree que yo no me di cuenta de que me robó mi historia. Y lo roja que se puso. Con la poca precisión con que cuenta la historia. Y eso que me la hizo repetírsela por teléfono más de tres veces. Esta pinche puertorriqueña.

— Tonight we are going to have an enchanting evening. We will hear Darsha sing two arias from La Bohème. The Grunschlag Sisters will accompany her on the piano. Then, we’ll have some poetry.

— I hope she is not planning on reading half of her book again.

— I was thinking more along the lines of a sonnet or two before dinner.

— Suzana, you cannot mix opera and salsa. I cannot sing in an atmosphere where hips are swinging. And now with this cat. I’m allergic to cats. Red welts will spread over my face, and I’ll start sniffing.

— It’s not a cat, it’s a rabbit. I have her on a leash. I love animals. I don’t have work right now. I need a job badly. My parents will stop sending me money from Japan. The last $200 they sent me, I saw this rabbit, and bought it on impulse. I’m such a pendeja with money. When I see something I like I buy it. So I’m always broke.

— What’s its name?