You Don't Know Me

How Curt told me afterwards about what actually went down was this. Jamil and them had come in as expected to check the place out. I could hear them in the room chatting shit being all loud and proud. At one point Jamil looks at one of the girls apparently and says to Curt, ‘You might have to throw these bitches in, innit.’

‘Fuck off,’ says Curt, ‘they’re working.’

‘Just a quick suck off for my boys in one of the rooms innit, while we doing business?’ says Jamil.

‘Hey I ain’t having your boys in here while we dealing. I got to watch my back blood,’ says Curt.

‘How you know we ain’t just going to roll you over right now?’ Jamil says with a cheesy grin.

‘That’s easy,’ says Curt. ‘You can’t score at these prices and if you want more, you need me. And anyways blood, you roll me and you a dead man. Now get these fuckers out of here and let’s do some business.’

Shilo walks out and Binks hangs back a bit to say loudly how they’ll be just outside. I am in the back room waiting but even I can hear that bit. Two guard dogs really just making noise. I hear the bolt going on the front door. Then as quick as anything I hear Curt bringing Jamil to me. As they near the door, I hear Curt:

‘You got the dollars?’

‘In the bag,’ says Jamil.

‘I want to count it first,’ says Curt.

I’m thinking now about Ki and Bless. Somewhere in that room in masks. But no clothes to hide behind. And here I am, with a gun and I am so scared. I hate being here.

Then there is a second where it’s like time has stopped. Then what I hear next makes my blood cold.

‘Count this,’ says Jamil and pulls out a gun.

I can’t see the gun at first. All I can hear is that suddenly there’s loud banging on the front door. Shilo and Binks are trying to kick the door in. I can hear Ki crying out and then there’s the scrape of the table as it goes to block the door. Curt is trying to calm Jamil down. I am hearing what I can and making pictures to fit the sounds but it’s patchy and I really want to step out so my eyes can catch up with my ears. Then I hear Curt’s voice.

‘Easy man. Take the fucking gear if you have to blood. But unless you are prepared to shoot me here and now, I will be coming after you.’

‘I am taking the gear blood. And you ain’t coming after no one. Do you know who’s even got my back? Your shit lickle crew ain’t going to do fuck all. Now give me the block man or you eating bullets.’

I hear Curt sigh heavily. ‘In here,’ says Curt and pushes in through the door I am standing behind. Light floods into the room. I see Curt with his hands out come into view. Jamil follows. Curt suddenly leaps away and jumps on top of all the shit that’s in the room and looks at me to do something quickly. But for some reason I feel as if I am walking through jam. Nothing about me can move quickly enough. I see Jamil’s face which starts to change colour as if he has realized what is going to happen next. He hasn’t seen me yet, but he knows this is all wrong. Then I see his shooter. In my head all I can hear is my own voice, saying ‘nine mil’. He brought a gun. For some reason I never thought he would bring a gun.

Just then a spark ignites somewhere in my body and starts the motor. I drop to the floor and swing the metal bar I still have in my hand at Jamil’s legs. It’s too risky to hit him higher in case I catch the gun and bullets start flying. Jamil screams out then falls down flat. In a second Curt is on top of him, crushing him with his huge weight. It’s only seconds before Curt has him knocked out cold. Jamil’s gun is still in his hand. I pick it out. It’s nice as guns go, nickel-plated Browning. Where the fuck he get that kind of shooter from? I stick it in my pocket. Right next to my Baikal. I almost feel sorry for my shitty gun next to this one. Then I ain’t thinking about that no more. Suddenly the only thing in my head is the girls and I am ashamed I forgot them for even a second.

I look at Curt and we run to the front door where there’s still the sound of it being kicked in hard. The lock has already gone and the door is splintering. The table has been pushed flush against the door and the girls are doing everything they can to stop it flying open. I don’t even see how they got there. All I know is that every scrap of soul they got is trying to keep that door shut. A gap starts to open up as the men behind it are pushing it. Then I see the nose of a gun poking through. Binks is calling out for Jamil, his voice all jumpy and high. As soon as they realize Jamil ain’t answering back, the kicks to the door get harder and more violent. The door jumps open and shuts again as the girls push against it. Curt runs across and sweeps the girls away with one arm.

‘Go and sit on that idiot,’ he says and nods at the back room. ‘He’s out cold.’ Curt takes care of the gap that the men are trying to make by slamming it shut with one huge heave and then sits with his back against it, breathing hard.