You Don't Know Me

They weren’t really expecting her to do it herself. In fact they couldn’t allow her to do it herself. That wasn’t in like their pay grade. It was me that was supposed to pull the trigger, which hurts like a bitch. That she was setting me up to save her waste man brother, Spooks. She just had to get me there. They supplied the plan. They took care of the door staff. They got the two-way radios. All she had to do was make sure I pulled the trigger. Or Curt. Didn’t even fucking matter to them who it was. When it was all done they were going to take care of her. And Spooks. Both of them together. Gone.

And JC? That idiot wasn’t even supposed to be there. I still don’t really know why she shot him. He saw us I guess and that kind of fucked everything up for Ki. She couldn’t have no loose end going to the Feds and lining us up for the murders in the club. Putting us at the scene. Maybe she thought it was karma. Maybe she panicked. Maybe she didn’t panic but saw it all laid out. Saw how it had to play out. Truth be told, if JC had been some other place, I wouldn’t even be here. The club murders would disappear. Spooks would be hidden and me and Ki? Well we would have the chance just to be us again.

I don’t know why she’s come to see me now, after all this time. Probably got a guilty conscience.

Shit. I get it now, standing here talking to you, telling you everything. She came because I’d done my evidence bit. You see what I’m saying? She came only after I got in that witness box and said my piece. Can’t stop the trial now, is it? It’s too late. She knew that. It’s too late to touch her. Thing I don’t get though is why she came at all then. Clean her conscience or something? Maybe that’s it. Maybe she felt guilty. She should. She is.

I been here in front of you all these days taking her murder on my own head for what? For what? For love? You think so? I thought so. But I also know that if I knew then what I know now that she could sell me out for her brother, for herself, I ain’t sure I would have kept her name out of it. I would have told you straight. She lined me up for it to get herself out of it. Simple as.

But – she did come at least. And it weren’t no easy thing either. She was in protection apparently. She weren’t even supposed to exist any more. It was only because she threatened to fuck the whole thing up in the open that they allowed her to see me at all. She wasn’t even Kira any more. She was some other person altogether.

But still. She came. You get me. And here we are now.

‘So you can make this thing disappear? Get them to say “Not Guilty” and tell the truth?’ I’d said to her when it was nearly twenty minutes up and the guard was knocking on the door.

‘I can’t,’ she said.

‘So what now?’ I said looking at those eyes again. They were brimming wet but still crazy beautiful.

She stopped and looked at me for a moment and then said softly, ‘Why didn’t you go away? I thought you would have gone.’

‘Gone? I was waiting for you. Not even a telephone call Ki.’

‘I couldn’t. They wouldn’t let me.’

‘Oh.’

She paused and now I see the eyes are spilling out water for real. ‘Why didn’t you go? You could have gone.’

‘I couldn’t.’

‘I left you the money. And the Baikal. I thought –’

‘That I’d leave you?’ I go.

‘No. That you’d save yourself.’

‘It’s not that black and white though is it? Someone has to stay behind and pay the bill,’ I say.

And then she was gone.

Break: 10:45

40

12:30

PROSECUTION COUNSEL:

Members of the jury, in Hertford, Herefordshire and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen. Here at the Central Criminal Court, a second prosecution closing speech hardly ever happens. It is happening now, however, at the direction of the learned Judge.

This is an unusual case.

Not because it involves the deliberate and planned murder of a teenaged boy. Not even because it involves a murder committed with a firearm. Sadly, in London, the shooting of young men by other young men with lethal weapons has become an all too familiar story. No, this case is unusual because the Defendant in this case elected to deliver his own closing speech. He has been speaking to you now for some days. That in itself is unusual.

Unfortunately, however, the Defendant in his speech has referred to facts upon which he now relies, but which he didn’t mention in his evidence. Much of what he has said is completely new. You haven’t heard it before. I haven’t heard it before now. Which means that he hasn’t been cross-examined about the things he is now telling you. That puts you, members of the jury, at a great disadvantage. For how, unless you have heard his evidence being tested in cross-examination, do you assess the quality of it? In other words how do you form a judgement about its reliability? How can you be sure if it is true?