You Don't Know Me

I take on trust that the world is round. I can’t see it round with my own eyes but I take a picture’s word for it. I take on trust that Obama is a real person in America. I ain’t never seen him for real. I ain’t even ever seen anyone who saw him for real. I seen him on some TV screen. I am being told that he was a president or whatever. I don’t know for sure that he was. I don’t know for sure that this man here is a QC. He tells me he is and I take that. So now I am in the same boat and I am asking you to take a seat on my boat. Take it on trust. You can take some things on trust.

Ki used to read a lot of history books and shit. Henry the this and his twelve wives and whatever. And in them books there is always a bit in it where you get told this king had this advisor and this many servants and this is what they did here and what they did there and this is what this guy had for breakfast and rah rah rah. And I always said to her, how the fuck they know that? She used to say back, they work it all out from other stuff. They find a painting here and it shows some guy. Then in a writing somewhere they have a description of an advisor and then someone says, hang on, maybe it’s that guy in that painting. Then someone else goes, well he’s holding a couple of dead ducks in that hand. And then he says, oh he must like shooting. And then another guy goes, well he’s definitely shot two there so he must be a good shot. And then someone else goes, look at what he’s looking at, he is looking at that little boy, oh he must be a paedophile or whatever. What I think is that’s bullshit. What I think is that it’s quite a good story of what the shit could mean but it’s not proof is it?

So I kind of got a problem innit? What makes my story the real one of what shit actually went down? Everything I said is just like the history books. It’s just joining the dots but it might not be the real picture. I say to you that this thing happened and then the next thing happened and this is why it happened. But it don’t mean that the shit actually happened. It just means that I said it happened like that. That probably don’t mean shit at the end of the day. It’s just a theory. So I’m kind of shafted innit?

But then, the prosecution and the way they are saying what they are saying happened is the same kind of shit innit? It’s all just a theory. They can’t prove that I shot Jamil because they don’t have any witnesses to that shooting at the end of the day. They can’t prove that my blood got there the way they say because they don’t have a witness to say, ‘Oh this is how he got the blood on him.’ They can’t say that the firearm discharge residue was because of me shooting him or someone else shooting him, like Kira, wearing that top or me wearing it when I carried Jamil out of the trap. They can’t show nothing for sure. They can’t even prove that what I am saying never happened and what I am saying about how it happened didn’t happen in that way. They can’t show you an evidence to prove that Ki did not exist or Curt or Face or Guilty.

So where we at now? Everything just becomes about maybes. Maybe this happened. Maybe that happened. But what’s the good of that? It ain’t no good to have maybes. Like the prosecution said, you got to be sure, not maybe sure.

There a few things you can be sure about though. First is that Jamil was shot dead. The second thing is that out of all the people in this room, only I know for sure how he was killed. Even the prosecution have to agree with that. Either I shot him or I was there when he was shot by Kira. The third thing is that there is thirty thousand quid in my flat. What the prosecution can’t say is what their theory is about how I got that cash. The only theory you got is mine or some other theory you can think of. But what else could be the reason I got the money? Did I rob a bank? Did I win the lottery? It’s got to have come from somewhere innit?

Then there is this next thing. Jamil got shot for a reason. People don’t usually get shot for no reasons. Again the prosecution is saying that they don’t need to prove motive or whatever. But what kind of sense is that? There has to be a reason and the only reason you got is the one I gave you – because just saying someone is ‘waste’ don’t mean nothing. That ain’t a reason to kill a person.

I know what I told you is the truth. Do you know what though, at the end of the day, maybe none of it matters. I’m half in the mind of just putting my hands up to this and saying I did it.