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And since there was nothing more to be gleaned from staking out Charlene’s house, Vesta drove them across town and parked in front of Town Hall once more. This time all was dark inside, and so the time for some action-packed shenanigans had finally arrived!

“Okay, let’s do this!” said Scarlett, and when Vesta didn’t move, she frowned. “What is it? Having second thoughts?”

“No, I’m just wondering why my son still hasn’t returned any of my calls.”

They’d even walked over to the police station before to catch him in his office but he hadn’t been behind his desk, and when they’d asked Dolores where the Chief was, the dispatcher-slash-receptionist had said she had no clue, which was pretty weird.

Almost as if Alec had simply… disappeared.

“You don’t think Charlene killed him, do you?” asked Scarlett now.

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t put it past her. She’s like one of those Praying Mantises: the ones that kill their mate once they’ve squeezed all the juice out of them.”

“Ugh. Please don’t talk about your son’s juice, Vesta. It’s gross.”

“It’s just a metaphor!”

“Even so, it’s gross.” They both sat there for a moment, then Scarlett said, “When we pay another visit to Charlene tomorrow we need to search that place top to bottom. If she did kill your son, we need to find him so we have proof.”

“I know,” said Vesta, the thought of her son having been murdered by this Praying Mantis Mayor weighing heavy on her.

“Because if we don’t have proof, she’ll simply pretend nothing happened, and we’ll never be able to pin his murder on her.”

“I know.”

“She’s a politician, and she’ll get away with it.”

“I know, okay?”

“I don’t think you do, Vesta,” said Scarlett, turning to her friend. “If she killed your son, and we find out, she’ll come for us, too!”

Vesta gulped a little.“I knew she was bad news the minute I laid eyes on her.”

“I thought you said she was the best thing that ever could have happened to Alec?”

“I never said that!”

“Fine. So let’s go already, shall we? And let’s search her office, too. She may have killed him in there and stashed his body underneath the floorboards.”

“Oh, Christ,” said Vesta, and they both got out of the car and quickly made their way over to Town hall, which was cloaked in darkness, only the front lit up by halogen lights.

They circled around to the back, and took a concrete staircase down into a recessed area that led to a metal door which gave access to a basement few people knew existed.

The metal door was locked tight, of course, but they’d anticipated this, and as Scarlett put on her protective mask, and so did Vesta, the latter took out the blowtorch Scarlett had bought earlier that day and started burning a big hole in that metal door.

So when five minutes later the night guard did his second tour of the night, and found two old ladies using a blowtorch to break into Town Hall, he immediately called for backup, then proceeded to point a very large gun at the two ladies before yelling,“Put your weapons down now! And put your hands where I can see them!”

And so it was that Scarlett Canyon and Vesta Muffin were being arrested for breaking and entering… again.

Chapter 18

I was starting to get a little worried that we might never be able to escape Charlene’s abode, but luckily I suddenly remembered that I needn’t have worried: we were, after all, in contact with Gran at all times, through the bugs hidden in our collars!

So I simply said,“Gran, if you can hear me, I think now might be a good time to come and get us. Charlene is acting a little weird, and now Harriet and Brutus are also here with us, and they’ve found a great clue as to Uncle Alec’s whereabouts.”

Look, I know I said I wasn’t going to tell Gran what had happened to her son, but necessity knows no law, and we couldn’t simply keep this vital clue to ourselves when Uncle Alec’s life was in danger and the clue could lead us to his kidnappers, could we?

“Gran?” said Dooley, also speaking into his collar. “Are you there?”

“This isn’t a two-way bug, Dooley,” I said. “Gran can hear us, but she can’t talk to us.”

“Oh,” he said, looking disappointed. “But then how do we know if she’s listening?”

“Of course she’s listening,” I said. “You don’t think Gran would send us in here and leave us to our own devices, do you? She’s listening right now, and hearing every word we say.”

“Gran, we just want you to know that Brutus and I found the clue,” said Harriet, speaking into my collar. “We did—not Max or Dooley. Just making that very clear.”

“Yeah, we talked to Buddy and Buddy told us what happened,” Brutus added for good measure. “And by us I obviously mean Harriet and myself—not Max and not Dooley.”

“Okay, you don’t have to rub it in,” I said. “You found the clue, and so all the credit goes to you guys.”

“Gran, did you get all that?” said Harriet. “Max has just admitted that Brutus and I are much, much smarter than he is.”

“I didn’t say that!” I cried.

“No, but you implied it.”

“I did no such thing!”