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“So I asked them about it, but they said I should butt out. That I was an intruder and I’d be gone soon enough if not sooner and they didn’t want me here—they never wanted me here and yadda yadda yadda. And that’s when Max really went to town on me. First he told me I was too fat and thatall I did was lounge about and steal his food and his milk and he wasn’t having it anymore. So no more food for me. Then he said his human didn’t want me here, either, but was too nice to say no tomy stupid human which is why I should do everyone a favor and jump under a passing UPS truck and make the world a better place.”

At this point, Milo took a breath and Odelia gasped in shock.

This was just too much. This cat was lying through his teeth!

“I’ll talk to Max,” said Odelia. “This kind of behavior is intolerable.”

“I didn’t want to tell you at first,” said Milo. “I figured it would upset you to know what Max is really like.” He sighed dramatically. “In fact I thought you wouldn’t believe me.”

“Oh, I believe you. And I’m going to deal with this right now. Where is Max?”

The box spring moved again. Odelia was getting up.

“No idea. I haven’t seen him since he told Dooley to smear his poop all over the carpet and the walls.”

“He did what?!”

“Yeah. Max can be really mean sometimes. He figured you’d punish Dooley and kick him out of the house.”

“But Dooley is his best friend!”

“Not anymore. Dooley’s been digging into Max’s Cat Snax and Max went ballistic when he found out. Told me he hated that stupid cat. That Dooley was even dumber than me and that he was going to make sure you kicked him out once and for all.”

“Oh, I don’t believe this.”

“I knew you wouldn’t, Odelia.”

“Oh, no. I do believe you, Milo. And I’m glad you’re telling me all this.”

“You should probably talk to Brutus and Harriet, too.”

“What have they done?”

“They hate Max, and they hate each other, and Max hates all of them, too. In fact if I were you I’d separate them. Make sure they don’t kill each other, I mean.”

“I can’t separate them. They all live under the same roof.”

“Then I guess there’s only one solution.”

“You’re not asking me to…”

“I know the pound has a bad rep but it’s really not such a nasty place as they say. Aloisia got me from the pound, and a wonderful time I had there, too. Made lots and lots of great friends. Just look at it as a place where cats can find a new and happy home.”

I shook my head disgustedly. I finally had Milo’s number. My first impulse was to crawl from under the bed and tell Odelia the truth. But would she believe me? This cat was such a skilled liar she might not. So then I got a better idea. The only solution to the Milo problem. The solution I should have thought of sooner, if I hadn’t believedhis lies myself.

Chapter 22

I walked into the TV nook and found Odelia ensconced on the couch, Milo on her lap, Grandma next to her, and no sign of Brutus, Dooley or Harriet. Odelia& Co were watching the adventures of Kit Katt& Koh, though judging from the frown on Odelia’s face she wasn’t really following the story. And Grandma wasn’t looking too attentive either, her thoughts clearly miles away. Only Milo was having a grand old time, enjoying Odelia’s loving caress.

I now knew what his endgame was. To usurp my position in Odelia’s home and heart.

So I casually strode up to them, ignoring the foul smell emanating from the wall where Dooley had done his business and which no one had bothered to clean up, and plunked myself down at Odelia’s feet.

She gave me a dark frown.“Max,” she said. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, bowing my head. “I have a confession to make. But first I want to apologize to you, Milo.”

“To me?” asked Milo, clearly surprised.

“Yes. I know I haven’t always treated you the way I should have. The fact of the matter is that I felt threatened when you first arrived. I guess…” I shrugged, and gave Odelia my best Puss in Boots face. “I guess I don’t feel as secure in this relationship as I thought I did. I saw Miloas an intruder—someone who would take my place—and I lashed out. And for that I’m deeply, deeply sorry. In fact I feel so ashamed I only managed to work up the courage to face you now, Odelia.”

“Oh, Max,” said Odelia, softening. “It’s so nice of you to apologize. What do you say, Milo?”

Milo wasn’t saying anything. A suspicious expression had rearranged his face into a frown, and he was staring at me intently. Then, finally, he gave me a slight nod, almost like a Godfather nod. “Thank you, Max. It must have taken a great deal of courage to admit this.”

I held out my paw.“Friends?”

Milo touched his paw against mine.“Friends,” he agreed.

“Oh, you guys,” said Odelia, wiping a tear from her eye. “I love you both so much. And I’m so proud of you. Especially you, Max. Like Milo said, it must have taken a lot of courage to own up to your mistakes like that. So now how do you feel?”

“Better,” I said. “Like a weight has been lifted from my heart.”