Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

“Oh dear.” Tarvek tried to stand, then leaned heavily on Agatha. “Violetta must be right. You do hate me. I’m crushed. Eurgh…”

Agatha tucked herself under his arm and lifted him to his feet. “Idiot.” She smiled at him.

“Hey! Hey! Sturmvoraus! Hands off, you!” Gil was getting up off his slab, the other skullcap strapped to his head. His skin matched Tarvek’s, which was currently a delicate shade of lemon. Suddenly, he clutched at the helmet and swayed as if he had been struck. Then his face cleared. “I…I feel better.” He blinked, and swayed sideways. “In a horrible, slowly dying as my life energy is sucked out through my pores kind of way.” Gil wobbled. “I think I’m going to fall down, now.”

He toppled, and was caught by Tarvek, who had been falling the other way. They staggered around until they got their arms around each other’s shoulders for support. Then Gil noticed whom he was leaning on.

“You!” Gil snarled. “I’m going to kill you!” He winced. “Ugh. Later. When I can…when I can stand.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tarvek waved a finger under Gil’s nose. “Listen, you, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do, you…” he wobbled drunkenly. “Erk. Yeah. Later.” He agreed. “When you can stand.”

“Yeah. ’Cause I sure can’t stand you now.” Gil returned. They broke into identical pathetic giggles.

Violetta was checking the readings on a set of dials. “Well, they’re both back in the safe levels.”

Agatha watched as their skin, in perfect unison, changed to a light, robin’s-egg blue. She nodded in satisfaction. “They’ve integrated even better than I’d dared to hope.”

She held out two old-fashioned chest-mounted system monitors. She had clearly modified them. They sported extra dials, lights, and wires. Like the skullcaps, they were connected.

“Put these on,” Agatha ordered. She then proceeded to do it for them. They watched curiously as she pulled straps that set the little devices snugly against their chests.

They kept their arms around each other’s shoulders, partially so they wouldn’t fall down again and partially because the cables that connected the little machines didn’t allow them to get very far from each other.

“Okay, pay attention,” she said as she finished the last few connections and finally removed the skullcaps from their heads. “With these things, I was able to stabilize the Si Vales. But it won’t last.

“If we don’t complete the procedure, you’re both…um…well.” She paused. “Anyway, we have to see this through.

“But there’s a big problem. This place functions by means of some kind of huge power source. It’s way down deep underground in the cellars.

“The Castle says it isn’t sure exactly what’s wrong, but the central core is no longer generating power.

“Apparently, this place has been running on stored energy since the Other’s attack, and, after all this time, and with the extra energy we’ve been using since we came in, it’s running low.

“That’s enough to maintain sentience and minor systems, but something like this—” Agatha patted the lightning generator. “This needs a lot more than the system can supply all at once.”

She tapped a fingernail against the device strapped to Gil’s chest. “These units will keep your systems linked and the Si Vales connection intact while we make our way down there.

“We may be able to fix the generator, or at least tap directly into one of the storage devices.”

Tarvek looked like he was in the midst of a terrible dream. “Um—that could kill us.”

Gil gave him a disgusted look. “Really? Deader than a Si Vales Valeo decay? Or deader than Hogfarb’s Immolation?”

Tarvek’s expression did not change. “I like fixing generators,” he told them.

“Good,” said Agatha. “Now I’m going to calibrate the stimulators. This is kind of delicate.” She fiddled with a handheld meter and stared at its dials. “Try to act lively, but not too lively, okay?”

“Lively?” Tarvek asked Gil in a weak voice. “I’m amazed we’re standing.”

“No kidding.” Gil poked him. “Just, I don’t know, flap your hands or something.”

“You first.”

“Nuh-uh. You first.”

Violetta walked up and shoved a bundle at Tarvek. “All right, you buffoon—I dug around in the back room and found you some old clothes, so get dressed!

“She may be too busy saving your worthless life to notice, but you’re not going to walk around in front of my lady without pants!”

Gil and Tarvek stopped arguing and looked down in horror.

“Oh, now, that’s way too lively.” Agatha told them, frowning at the meter she held. All that shouting was making the readings jump all over the dials.

Finally, Agatha was satisfied that the stimulators were working properly. Gil and Tarvek sat side-by-side as she bustled about, collecting tools and discussing with the Castle the best route through its basements.

They sipped at scrounged beakers full of what von Zinzer called “Best Not Ask.”

Tarvek shook his head. “The Castle’s power source! Amazing! Our spies never could find it.”

“So Tiktoffen wasn’t just holding out on us,” Gil said. “From what I heard earlier, I thought maybe—”