Agatha H and the Voice of the Castle

Tarvek was surprised. “Wait—Hristo Tiktoffen? But he was our inside man.”

“Oh really?” Gil thought about this. “I see. That explains a few things. But didn’t you wonder if…er…if someone else had spies here?”

Tarvek took another sip. “Sure. We knew about all kinds of spies. According to Tiktoffen, there were agents and observers from all sorts of organizations, but he could never identify the Baron’s insider. Fancy that.”

Gil took a sip. “So he wasn’t telling your side everything either?”

The Castle began to chuckle. It sounded as though a third person was sitting with them.

“Ah, the light dawns!” the Castle mocked.

Tarvek made a wry face. “Huh. It sounds like he’s on nobody’s side except his own.”

The Castle practically crowed: “Actually, the professor is on my side! Heh, heh, heh.”

Tarvek frowned. “Your side? You have a side?”

“Wait—” Gil said. “I can see this. Tiktoffen’s university dissertation was on ‘The Autonomy of Architecture.’”⁸³

“That was him?” Tarvek rolled his eyes. “Sweet Science, he must love this place.”

“And what is not to love?” the Castle said smugly.

Gil and Tarvek remained silent, sipping their drinks. Finally, Gil spoke. “So you’re involved in this whole ‘Storm King’ farce, are you?”

Tarvek looked guilty. “Well, yes, a bit. Did Agatha—”

“No. Your tame Heterodyne girl told me all about it…and she was a bit of a surprise, let me tell you.”

Tarvek clutched his forehead and groaned. “She is not my tame Heterodyne girl. This whole debacle was not my plan. Mine was much better.

“And even though a real Heterodyne girl appeared, they panicked and rushed into it anyway! I swear, those fools couldn’t topple the corrupt government of a sandcastle.”

Gil shrugged. “Well, what with Agatha’s performance in Sturmhalten, I can see how they thought it was now or never.”

“So this girl’s in the Castle, is she? What’s she like? Will she be any danger to Agatha?”

Gil stared at him. “Wait—you don’t know?”

“Well, no. I’ve never met her. I said this wasn’t my plan.”

“Um, well, let’s just say I don’t think much of this Storm King guy’s taste.”

Tarvek was stung. “Oh, really? That’s encouraging, considering the kind of girls you preferred in Paris.”

Gil raised his eyebrows. “True. They didn’t like to play dress-up much at all.”

“That’s because they were hardly ever dressed!” Tarvek sniped.

“Jealous?” Gil answered.

Agatha interrupted them. “It’s time to go. We’d better not leave Professor Tiktoffen and Pinkie here, they’ll have to come with us. Where are they?”

Tarvek was surprised. “They’re here here? Both of them?”

“Yeah. I knocked them out with some Ichor of Somnia.” Gil selected a small jar from a shelf and tossed it to von Zinzer. “Here. Wave this under their noses. It’ll wake them up fast.”

Von Zinzer eyed the jar suspiciously. “What is it?”

“Vitrium of Mustard. It’s harmless enough, just don’t try sniffing it yourself, it’s really pungent.”

He was too late. Von Zinzer had opened the jar and taken a sniff. He shrieked and clapped the lid back on, his eyes watering furiously. Violetta followed him out the door and just managed to keep him from walking himself into a wall. Together, they went to fetch the prisoners.

When they had gone, the Castle made a strange sound. “My lady! There is something moving within my walls. It…it appears to be heading this way, and it seem to be…quite large.”

Agatha looked at the door they had come in. “Seems large? You can’t tell?”

“No. It is…amorphous, I think. I cannot halt, destroy, or contain it…and…and…it tickles!”

“How close is it?”

The wall next to them cracked and a portrait fell to the ground.

“Very close!”

With a rumble, the wall collapsed into fragments, revealing a dark space. Within, something moved. It stepped out into the light. One large, central eye blinked.

“Oh!” Agatha looked down with astonishment. “It’s one of my little clanks.”

Gil and Tarvek bent to examine it. Gil grinned. “Yes! It’s the one our people found at Sturmhalten. I activated it earlier and it actually came to help you, just like I told it to! It’s actually a very smart little—OW!” Gill yelped as the diminutive clank lashed out and punched him in the nose.

Tarvek chortled. “You’re right! It is really smart! So—this is one of the ones she built in Sturmhalten, eh? I helped with some of those, you know—YEEE!”

The clank had found a mallet and brought it down hard on Tarvek’s toes.

“I see it remembers you, too,” Gil said with a smirk.

“That’s enough of that,” Agatha told it sternly. “Stop picking on my—er—my experimental subjects.”

The small clank managed to look contrite.

There was a sound behind them. One of the pocket-watch clanks already in the room had wandered over. It had evidently just dropped a wrench and was now staring fixedly at the newcomer, which was staring back.

“Er, my lady?” the Castle asked nervously. “Just how many of those have you built?”

“Oh,” Gil said with interest, “that must be another primary. It looks a lot like the other one, doesn’t it?”